[kaihigdontog]

how do you say good bye to some one without herting them? my gf has been verry good with puting up with my mood swings and my si but i can not put here throw any more how do i tell here good bye with out herting here any more?

[tryingtobeme]

Originally Posted by kaihigdontog

how do you say good bye to some one without herting them? my gf has been verry good with puting up with my mood swings and my si but i can not put here throw any more how do i tell here good bye with out herting here any more?

Speaking from a woman's perspective, I don't know if there really is a way to do this without hurthing her. I am going through these same feelings with my husband but some points to think about. Is she supporting you through this bad time, maybe previous times? Does she still love you/care for you? Has she said she can't deal with it /or does she act like she can't deal with it?

I know all these answers can be answer in the way you believe she maybe behaving, but look at them from the reality and what you know is true about her. The first two should be yes and the 3rd should no. If you get any different answers on one of them, then I think you too need to talk. Maybe even see a T if that would help the two of you. Many options you can go with here without leaving here.

Take care and hang in there. You will get through this.

[amante]

does she have a clue that things are on the ways out. I think being honest, heartfelt and sincere, and do it in a caring way, any way you try and let go, it won't be easy when feelings are invested. good luck, keep us posted and lean on us for support when the time is right.

[lynn P.]

What if she doesn't mind staying with you despite everything you put her through or is it you just don't want her anymore? I personally wouldn't like my partner making that decision for me. Be honest with her because she might say "I don't mind staying with you".

[RomanSunburn]

I often feel the same way about my boyfriend -- that he would be much better off without me and dating someone without all the emotional baggage. Every time I say this, he says to me "Stop being silly; I'm not going anywhere. This is my decision, not yours." My advice would be to tell her how you're feeling, but don't push her away unless she's already on her way out.

Sorry you're hurting so much
Best wishes,
Ro

[kaihigdontog]

the problem is times like the other day i was so wired that she said i scared her. nothing seems to help with my mood swings so i am redy to call it quits and i dont want her to be around for that cuse i know that it would hert her and she would think she caused it. so i have to let her go.
"one you love some one you must let them fly"

[amandalouise]

Originally Posted by kaihigdontog

the problem is times like the other day i was so wired that she said i scared her. nothing seems to help with my mood swings so i am redy to call it quits and i dont want her to be around for that cuse i know that it would hert her and she would think she caused it. so i have to let her go.
"one you love some one you must let them fly"

I have found the truth is the best way to go. tell her right now you are going through some pretty intense things. she has already witnessed to a lesser degree how dangerous to others things can get. you don't want to hurt her in any way so you are going to take a step back and take the time you need to work out whatever is going on with you. let her know you have no idea how long it will take to work out everything so you are letting her know now that you need space and time. and that you will call her when you can be sure that you can be with her without causing any harm to her emotionally nor physically. when I have done this they thank me for keeping their wellbeing in mind and they wish me well and luck on my healing journey. one person even gave me a 4 leaf clover key chain and a fake rabbits foot for luck and to keep me safe on my healing journey.

[bridgie]

If she isn't acting or saying things as if she wanted out then don't push her away. You are so so lucky to have someone to stand by you even when you are a little wired. I know where you are coming from I let my boyfriend go bt I felt he was pulling away anyway. And I am blaming myself and my bipolar right now. Just don't lose something if you don't have to. Good luck.

I agree, talk to her, but don't push her away...it is hard enough to find someone who loves you in this world, and if she wants to stand by you no matter what, that is awesome!