[damajdancer]

Okay so I think this would be the right place to post. I am dating my best friend. She's a girl and so am I. This is the first relationship I have been in with another girl. We've been friends for about a year and we've been dating for just under 2 months. And everything was so wonderful and amazing up until about a week ago. Then we started fighting almost everyday and although we made up everyday also...it still sucks fighting like that all the time. I just found out tonight (from my girlfriend herself) that she got drunk with our other friend (who is straight) and they made out. I know this sounds so childish but I am really hurt. My girlfriend says it doesnt mean anything, that they were just seeing if our friend was a good kisser. My girlfriend keeps telling me...it is what it is and i cant take it back. And I had to ask her if she was even sorry! She wouldnt tell me herself. Im extremely hurt and I feel like dirt. Im just not sure where to go from here. My girlfriend is my best friend. She's my world and I love her with all my heart. But I cant stand to think she did that to me. Wether it meant anything or not...it still hurt me. I know Im ranting and raving but Im so lost right now. Does anyone have any advice for me?
Do you think Im over reacting?

[jerrymichele]

I would be upset. Sounds like she is just trying to blow your feelings off.

[AAAAA]

I don't think you're over reacting at all. Things happen sometimes and you can't take them back. But in my opinion it's not the mistakes you make in life that define you, it's how you respond to them.

Giving your girlfriend the benefit of the doubt that this was just one of those stupid things that you do when you've had too much to drink the fact remains that this hurt your feelings. When you care for someone, you feel bad when you hurt their feelings even unintentionally.

I'd examine the frequent fights you've been having. Is one of you more likely to start it? If the same person is constantly starting a fight there's something else going on. They are unhappy for some reason which may have nothing to do with you, stress at work, with family, money etc gives us all short tempers.

[Tatyana2009]

I would be hurt too. And if she is your best friend you should be able to communicate with her and explain how hurt you are and she should be understanding and caring. Even if that kiss meant nothing. I would tell her how you feel and that you feel insecure in the relationship and you do not know what to do. See what she says.

[NuckingFutz]

I understand you feeling hurt by your girlfriends actions. I think your gf's explanation woud hurt me even more...had she said "it did not mean anything" I would have explained to her that is exactly why it hurts. Sounds like she is not even taking your consideration anymore...what changed. Also when people still fight and then make up but still fight, there is usually an unresolved issue. It does not seem that she is taking this relationship seriously. Perhaps some counseling would help. I hope she did not treat you this way when you were still just best friends.

[garden]

Hi. I don't think you're over reacting. You are hurting and it seems like your girlfriend is hurting too. Maybe the reason for all the fighting is change, whether testing, wanting a deeper relationship or wanting out. Take care of yourself

[damajdancer]

Thank you all for your advice. I have talked to my girlfriend very straight forward. I told her exactly how that kiss made me feel. I mean I told her EXACTLY how it made me feel. Yet she still had the same response...it is what it is....all I can say is I cant go back...you just need to get over it. So in my own way I got over it. I broke up with her. I cant feel like a pointless piece of space and be happy. I am very hurt still but it seems like im hurting in a different way now. Now I know I have done nothing wrong...she brought it on herself. But im still sad that this had to come to an end. Im not exactly sure what is going to become of our friendship but I hope somewhere along the line we can be friends. She was never this uncaring when we were just friends. We just didnt work out...thats understandable right? I mean its not like I expected us to last forever. Im okay with knowing it just didnt work. You have to find things you can deal with in a relationship, things you can put up with even if you dont agree. But this was like crossing a line of those things...not her kissing that girl, that didnt cross the line...the fact she had no remorse, no shame, no care at all of what it made me feel...thats what crossed the line.
Sorry for going on and on...I just wanted to update you all.
Thanks again for the advice.
-Megan-

[NuckingFutz]

Good luck Megan. Keep posting!

[Tatyana2009]

I understand your decision and support you! You are right in everything you said. keep looking after yourself!!

[AAAAA]

Good for you! Way to stand up for yourself!

[hurtandconfused29]

My niece went through a similiar situation with her girlfriend and I remember her telling me that her breaking things off was the best thing she could have done. At the time I know she didn't feel that way, she was hurt and depressed and it broke my heart to see her cry (also being an aunt I wanted to kick her butt for making my baby cry) but I let her get through it on her own and now she has found so much better.....she has found herself....so way to go and good luck in the future.