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#1
Jan 16, 2010, 10:21 PM
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today BF comes home for his lunch and i am having a bad moment. people being loud woke my son up after 10 minutes of nap, after 2 hours of me trying to calm him down for a nap. I was stressed out, having a really emotional breakdown inside my mind.... BF offered me weed and i turned it down saying it would be a waste because i knew i was too upset, and smoking weed would NOT make me feel better this time.
I guess he thought I had goneliterally crazy, turning down weed.... he said "god damn, this is ridiculous, i cant handle this ********" now i want to ****ing kill myself. i feel like my exsistence alone is a burden on everyone's life and they would be better off without me in it
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 smile, this too shall passso much for a wonderland.... 
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#2
Jan 17, 2010, 12:46 PM
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I can really relate to this post...sometimes when the recipe is right (being frustrated about the nap, people being loud) and someone says the wrong thing to me it can really send me over the edge.
Your bf sounds like he was being very insensitive. People don't know how to react when we are having a breakdown/bad moment. Some people can be very supportive, some people are just going to get annoyed that we are bringing down their day a little bit. Usually my bf is supportive, but sometimes he is not, so at those times, I have finally started saying to my bf, "would you treat me this way if I was suffering from a diabetic episode? would you become so frustrated with my anxiety if I was suffering from cancer instead of anxiety?" Your problems are a real illness that requires real treatment and support from your loved ones. Your bf couldn't handle that you "turned down weed" ?!? Sounds like he's being ridiculous and should not be talking to you like that. Peer pressure is for middle school, not for adults like you who have every right to refuse drugs, esp. if they are dealing with health issues. I hope your bf isn't like this all the time.... 
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#3
Jan 17, 2010, 05:59 PM
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usually i want to but i didnt want to this time because i knew it wouldnt help enough and i would have wasted our money. lol. if it didnt cost a ridiculous amount i'd be high all day
 ....okay maybe not that much but a lot more than i am now
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smile, this too shall passso much for a wonderland....
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