Not enough for me?

Yesterday was Valentine's Day / my boyfriend John's and my first anniversary. When I went to his house, we watched Buffy (which I love), but both of his brothers were sitting on the couch with us, so we didn't get to be intimate at all. After the episode was over, the brothers left. John told me he was tired (and implied that he wanted me to go home), so I got upset. I told him I just wanted to cuddle with him, but he said he didn't want to fall asleep. I felt more upset, because it seemed like he didn't want to cuddle with me at all. I said okay and started getting up, but he got upset when I did that. He realized that I was upset, so we decided we would make time to just cuddle later that week, but then he started to kiss me + wanted sex. I told him that it didn't make sense to have sex if we couldn't cuddle, and he agreed but then kept kissing me & we had sex that was very centered on him (which it is most of the time) - I was on my period but we weren't in a place where cleaning up blood would be easy, so we had **** sex, which I like but not as much as I like vaginal sex. When we were done, I didn't want to kiss him because I was upset, and he said he felt objectified when I wanted to cuddle with him but didn't want to kiss him. I don't understand what's going on or why I couldn't stop having sex with him. I don't know why we almost always have sex that is focused on him. Our sex is objectifying for me, which I like and dislike at the same time - it almost always has s+m aspects, but it happens so often that it is more just sadism. I'm 18, and he's 17. I love him, and I have told him so - he doesn't know if he loves me. What should I do?

What do you think you should do? Are you better off with him, or without him?

Outside of sex how is the relationship?

Outside of sex - he's usually great. Especially recently. I go to school in MA and he goes to school in NH, where I live, so whenever I come home I get to see him. He's as supportive as he can be, as a 17-year-old who doesn't really have problems, and he's very logical / consistent / fun / easy-going. He is a very good friend. I guess what I'm afraid of is losing that friendship, and also of getting into a relationship wherein I don't trust the person as much as I do him. I don't know if I should trust him as much as I do, but I can trust him more than I can trust myself.
I blank when I try to make a list of reasons I would be better off with him or without him...but I can try again.
I'd be better off with him because:
He's a great friend, one of the only ones I have at home right now - he was my best friend throughout my senior year, and has been supportive, good at listening, positive, honest, and genuinely concerned with my well-being. I love him, and I also love his family. I'm a very affectionate person, so being without him would make it hard (but not impossible) to hang out with him without continuing to be affectionate...this would be very confusing for me, and I really don't need more confusion in the affection-portrayal area. We call each other every day to check in and talk about our days, and I think I'd feel very out of place continuing to do so if we weren't together. I feel very comfortable with him, such that he knows a lot about the stuff I've gone through in the past and recently and is good at handling it - I feel like I would not really be able to ask him to continue handling that stuff, which would take away a big support system. I also do not tend to keep in great touch with exes, although they've never meant as much to me as he has. If I dated at school, I think it would start to take up a considerable amount of time whether I liked the person I'd date or not (just because that's how I've dated).
I'd be better off without him because:
It would give me a chance to meet someone new and start over sexually, with no prior "habits" to continue. I would not have to deal with a long-distance thing if I dated at my school, which would make it easier to communicate in a lot of ways. I could build another support system closer to me, which would help me solve issues much more quickly. I would also feel like I had more control over my own relationship without the distance.
I would take suggestions on both sides, though. It's hard for me to objectively look at this situation and decide what I want.

Hmmm...find somebody that can love you back. What are you really getting from this relationship? It sounds like he is getting his needs met so there is really no need for him to do what you want or make any accomodations or compromizes to please you.

I would test the waters and see how willing he is to give to you when you start asking for more of your own needs to be meet - while still meeting his... I just want to see if he is capable of giving or if he just wants want wants.

Over all this relationship doesnt seem to bad.... just young and inexperienced in love and giving?

I'm gonna give it a try today or tomorrow. I'll check back in soon - thanks so much for listening.

Good Luck....

if affectionate person is what you want and you don't see it in him then your choice is obvious you got to move on, because he's not going to change....but if you like him so much and you can compromise of affectionate part, then stay but don't expect any affection from him....
there is no way to change anybody, based on my own experience since I'm an affectionate person...
my ex-husband was not sexual or affectionate and that's why he's ex....we met at school and I was thinking he will change, but that never happened! I just wasted my time....

a great meaningful and fulfilling relationship is not having to ask to be pleased, the person should just want to do it for the purpose of making you happy. I hope you have found some answers of the last few days with him, to make your decision easy. Don't stick around for the sake of not getting what you want. life is too short, and there are loads of good guys out there. Maybe you need to take a break. you are young and shouldn't be feeling this way.

Be single!! Youre 18 for Gods sake!!! and he is 17....there is no way in Hell he is ready for a steady relationship...His age is 17, he's more like 15 mentally....all guys are like that. As you go through your 20's you are going to change SOOOO MUCH!!!! Don't waste your time wondering if he loves you and why he won't cuddle...I know that is important to you, it's important to me too but he needs a chance to live and experience life and so do you, commitments are too messy at this age, don't stress yourself out!!! You'll be better off a single girl living a single life!! It can be so much fun!!!!!

I'm 36 and start serious relationship in my mid 20s.....I'm so glad about that...I managed to finish my education and get a good job....I don't know how I would have done study and get out from school with honor degree if I was all occupied by relationship trouble!!!!

Love is a two way street - Good Luck, Swallace! Send you good wishes and thoughts!