Overly Curious About Other Relationships

Did forget to include that it's very lenient around my house. I don't have much responsibilities.

What you describe sounds like chaos. Its a very chaotic enviornment and it does sound to me like there is an issue of boundaries.

Its a big deal that your brother is going to jail. I am sorry. It must make you feel all sorts of things.

No wonder you are so confused. Your home life lack the clarity and stability you need. Please speak to you counselor about this.

To me, it sounds like you need to docus on yourself a bit and grow emotionally before you enter a committed relationship.

I wish you happiness xxx

Thing is about most of that stuff is it just doesn't bother me that much anymore. I've been dealing with it for so long I'm just used to it even though it can stress me out a times.

Maybe thats the problem - that you got used to it... What you describe is not healthy family environment. No wonder you are confused about relationships...

So what would you suggest? To have a really close relationship with her like a relationship bit not actually commit to it until I figure things out? Like a "thing" with her or something? That's what I have been thinking of trying.

Yes, this sounds good. Friendship.

And explore you own emotions about your home environment.

Well I'm thinking about asking her with this is going and i'm going to say (depending on what she says) "I'm not asking to go out with you, I'm just asking you to go on a date with me. If it goes good, then we keep doing it."

does this sound ok to ask?

Well I talked to her this morning and she said that she just wants to be friends right now and I asked her for just a date this Sunday or something to go to eat downthe street and she said she's not sure if she can, but she can try. She also said she wasn't sure if she could the weekend after that because of babysitting. I understand how she feels but it's realy hard to talk to her as just a friend because of how I feel about her and I have no idea what to say. I want to wait for her to be ready but this is really hard being just friends..

Does anyone think this would be a bad idea?

I know it's only been a few days since the breakup but now that I'm barely talking to her, I always feel like I want to start talking to her more and I feel like all I want is to be in a relationship with her again because I miss it. But at the same time I still have my curiousities but I really don't feel like exploring them because I still have strong feelings for this girl. So I suggested we just keep dating until I'm absolutely sure what I want. Does anyone think if I got back in a relationship with her I would just feel the same way again? I'm clearly not wanting to try dating anyone else right now, no one really sparks my interest, maybe a little but the only person on my mind is my ex and I don't feel like dating anyone else or giving anyone else a chance currently.

I think that said said no to you. Its hard to take, but you should respect that.

I also think that maybe focus on yourself a bit - do you have hobbies?

I do have a few hobbies, but not much. I go lifting after school everyday and then go home and do some stuff.

Also, she didn't exactly say no to me, she said she doesn't want to be in a relationship right now but she wants to stay friends and work our way back up.

But now at the same time I don't feel like dating other people like I mentioned and can only think about her and want her badly right now. So I'm just trying to be friends but I mentioned about a date and she said she may be able to.

But if I did ever end back up in the relationship would the same problems occur?

Maybe it will. Maybe it wont. I dont know and only you can answer that.

From what you are saying you are still not sure you can be committed to one person so wont be fair to be back with her.

You are putting too much pressure on yourself and on her. Focus on the things you like doing and see how you feel next week x

I can't be putting to much pressure on her, am I? I told her exactly how I felt and that I would like to continue dating her and that I do want her bak but I don't want to rush things. I have said that I respect the fact that she just wants to be friends now and it's hard and a little different for me because of how I feel towards her. So I said I would go by exactly how she wants me to deal with this and in any way to make it better.

Was that a little to much?

This sounds very good to me. Well done. Now live by this.

Relax and when /if she is ready she will let you know what s right for her.

That was a nice thing you said to her. I think you are a kind young man.

So how am I supposed to act around her. Is there anyway I can reboost her feelings toward me? Being friends to me just doesn't feel right but I have to respect it and will but it's like putting on a mask because it's not how I really feel towards her.

So maybe you cannot be her friend.

I feel like it's hard but if that's what she wants to rebuild the relationship, I kind of have to. Right? I'd rather have her as a friend than nothing.

JakeSim, the thing I do is I listen to my heart. It's hard to do becuase you can ave mixed feelings for someone, And I think you have mixed feelings with her. It sounds like you want to be with her, and you want to explore at the same time. If I were you I would take some time off with her and see what happens from there. I wish you the best of luck

Slow down and enjoy life. You have plenty of time for all the emotions later...

It's a little difficult when I'm confused about everything.

I think you answered this for yourself in post #42.

How are things at home today?

Things at home today are pretty good. Better than usual I guess.

Thats good. Enjoy it