I can't help but miss him

I spent almost 2 years with him being such a huge part of my life. We spent so much time together, even the holidays (even though he has a big family he's close to, he always managed to stop by and spend time with me and my friends). He's been there for me a lot. He's taken care of me when I was sick (no one has done that for me since I was a kid. He even offered financial help and even offered to pay for me to see a doctor, though I didn't feel right accepting. Even though he did do things here and there that lead me on, I genuinely don't think he meant to. He was always pretty honest with me with where we stood. I just wanted more so bad. I grew to love him. I let myself believe there was more. For so long I believed that he loved me too, but he was just scared.

Now he's with someone new and I've cut ties. It's so hard. I feel like a big part of my life is missing. I know that I'm not capable of just being friends with him. It's not healthy. But I just wish I could. I miss him and his camaraderie so much. He means so much to me on so many levels. He was one of the best friends I've had, he's the 1st man who has actually been active in my life and good to me. It's just so damn hard! I just wish I could erase everything and start over knowing what I know. I even got attached to his pet corn snake (she got me over my fear of snakes!). I want my friend back so bad.

Gentle hugs to you Flora

Having again read through your posts on this man, you are quite ambivalent. As you imply, he may well spend his life going from relationship to relationship. Perhaps it is time to remind yourself instant gratification is no guaranty of happily ever after.

You will get over him. Time is on your side