[meApe]

I'm scared. My wife and I have been married for seven years now. Now that I look back I can see my mood swings have erratic at best. This last year has been absolutely horrible. I became cold and distant. There was a point I didn't want anything to do with her. She then cheated on me two months ago. She told me about it. I started going to a psychiatrist but not really intensely yet. He put me on mood stabilizers and something else. I recently found out that they had been in contact for several weeks after the one encounter. They even sent lewd pictures and text messages. I demanded that all contact stopped. Last week she finally told him that she did not want to talk like that anymore, but she still works with him.

The things I've done to her over the years. Also at one or two points it could be deemed marital rape. I don't really blame her. Although I wish she didn't have to work with him. Our entire family is based on her income and benefits. She swears there is no longer any connection, but it seems like over the last two weeks I loose it about once a day or once every other day and we fight and fight and fight. She has asked what she can do to ease my mind. All I do is accuse her of things I can't prove. I'm afraid she'll leave me if I don't find a way to start controlling this, and she wakes up not knowing who I'll be. Heck I don't know who I'll be. Over our whole marriage I've made her cold and distant towards me. Every time she reaches out I yell. Then I cry and apologize. We have a good day and I start yelling. I can accurately say that she has not started one fight in two weeks with fourteen days we fought maybe 10. There has been no evidence of anything in that time too.

Now that we know what is wrong with me she doesn't know if she'll be able to help fix me because she is hurting too.

[jenkins09]

Hey man, are you bi-polar? I also wanted to say that no matter how bad your marriage was, it was no excuse for your wife or any dissatisfied partner to have an affair. You do, however have issues that you apparently know you need to work on.

I congratulate you for seeking help, as most men dont. I hope you stick with it, no matter what happens between you and your wife. I understand your anger right now. Your wife cheated on you and it hurts. You will go through the grieving stage while dealing with it. Find a way to manage the anger through working out or journaling or something positive.

If you can, find a way to put those emotions into words and tell your wife how you feel, how the affair made you feel, the betraly, etc. Its hard because you both are hurting and the relationship needs someones issues to take a back burner to attend to the other right now.

Your wife working at this job is tough. The other man is going to trigger her affair and all those lovey dovey feelings that came with her "fantasy escape." I would hope she is actively looking for another job. Its my opinion that your marriage is going to have a tough go if she stays there. I wish you luck and you can recover your marriage, but be prepared for a battle.

[meApe]

Originally Posted by jenkins09

Hey man, are you bi-polar? I also wanted to say that no matter how bad your marriage was, it was no excuse for your wife or any dissatisfied partner to have an affair. You do, however have issues that you apparently know you need to work on.

I congratulate you for seeking help, as most men dont. I hope you stick with it, no matter what happens between you and your wife. I understand your anger right now. Your wife cheated on you and it hurts. You will go through the grieving stage while dealing with it. Find a way to manage the anger through working out or journaling or something positive.

If you can, find a way to put those emotions into words and tell your wife how you feel, how the affair made you feel, the betraly, etc. Its hard because you both are hurting and the relationship needs someones issues to take a back burner to attend to the other right now.

Your wife working at this job is tough. The other man is going to trigger her affair and all those lovey dovey feelings that came with her "fantasy escape." I would hope she is actively looking for another job. Its my opinion that your marriage is going to have a tough go if she stays there. I wish you luck and you can recover your marriage, but be prepared for a battle.

Best as we can tell. We're working on perfect diagnosis, but it looks to be bi-polar. Right now there are no jobs around here we are lucky she's got something. According to my wife, this other man is thinking about quitting. I pray he does. She has always been a tough willed woman. If she dedicated to staying then she will.