[NuckingFutz]

Here I go again...I have a different neighbor from me that has slowly increased the amount of visits per day. I tried to nap awhile ago and he kept knocking on and off for over 30 minutes! Then he calls and I just answer and tell him I need some rest. I talked him into giving me 30 minutes to rest. He is a really sweet older man but he's way too dependent on me already. I do not want to be rude but I feel very stressed and tired. It's like he's an emotional vampire that has had his fangs filed down. HELP!

[Yoda]

Nucking, you need to be more clear with boundaries, I think. You seem to be the kind of girl that people want to be around which is good for them but sometimes not so good for you.

[NuckingFutz]

My ex said that once about me "the kind of person people like to be around. Yeah Yoda man, that's exactly it. My boundaries. They seem to be intact with all but the most disordered of people. I will use the "broken record technique" (i.e. I am really having some alone time tonight...not in a good place for company tonight...going to have some me time...now is really not a good time for visiting). Sigh...I get boundaries, but is it necessary for me to become an expert?! Maybe if more people made friends with themselves, I could have some peace not to have to focus on them. I want to choose where I want to focus my energies, I do not want to have to waste my energy fighting for time to use my energy the way I want to. Grrrr! Thanks for reading me rant.

Originally Posted by NuckingFutz

My boundaries. They seem to be intact with all but the most disordered of people.

lol, the healthy people get our cues. it's the unhealthy ones that don't and why we need to become adept at boundaries. i have had some opportunities to practice as of late too. it can be hard to say no but when i do it is quite a relief to have people back off. it is worth the effort. i find that the more insistent types need more clarity. they just don't get subtle hints. maybe tell your neighbor that you will stop by his place when you are up to visiting--and then follow thru so he doesn't think it's just a brush-off.

[lynn P.]

Yes I agree with Yoda about personal boundaries. I remember you mentioning this older gentleman before and he's probably lonely too. He most likely felt you're kind, which is a rare commodity these days. If I were you I would get one of those do not disturb signs ' and hang it out when you want privacy and rest. If you have a messaging system let that take the calls and turn off the ringer - just don't forget to turn it back on lol. Don't be afraid to say no - it's one of the greatest gifts you can give yourself.

[NuckingFutz]

Right again...sometimes "no" can be the hardest word in the English language to spit out. I w think he got the message though as he did not come by.