[callusedthoughts]

I know I shouldn’t be worried, but I still am a bit. My brother is getting out of jail next, and it has been a little more than seven years now. I am happy that he is getting released as I still feel he was tried unlawfully. I guess I still blame myself for what happened to him. If I had, had the courage to speak up about what was happening he never would have done what he did. He wanted our lives to change, he wanted to be treated like the others. He wanted me and Azo to be happy so he fought back. He fought back and he lost so many years of his life. He grew up to fast, and for that I’m sorry. He tried to save me and got locked up, because I was too weak to run. He was my best friend, and my protector. He took the worst of the abuse to keep me and Azo from it. We were all young and he tried so hard to be our guardian. Then after what Azo did I don’t think he could ever be the same, that’s when things got real bad, he had a life he was protecting and he failed. Then all there was, was me, I loved my older brother, and I still love him because I know how hard he tries to always be there for me. Now he is getting out and I seem to be at a loss of how to welcome him into my house. I have kid and we have our ways of doing things. He knows this, after all he is her uncle, and at least they have met. My daughter is excited, she liked him when she met him through the glass talking window. I don’t think she understand what really happened all those many years ago. Sometimes it seems all a blur to me as well, but then I remember, he wanted me to run, he wanted me to leave and he did what he thought he had to. But of course I didn’t leave and all his work was lost. I don’t wish to tell you what he did because I fear it may trigger people, but perhaps I will say something later when I feel I can really write out the story of my childhood.

[Elysium]

The best thing you can do for you and your brother's relationship is to remember that you were a child and you were scared. Your Brother did what he did...unfortunately, there were some negative consequences he had to face. (It sounds like it could have gone either way at the time).

Yes, he did what he did to help you...but he made his choice. You don't owe him anything other than you love and respect and appreciation.

That being said...take heed to keep good boundaries between you and him. In a situation like this, it is easy to become co-dependent on one another and it is easy to let the guilt push us into thinking we can let others take advantage of us because we "owe" them. I'm not saying your Brother would do that, take advantage of you I'm just saying to keep healhy boundaries in yours and his relationships.

It wasn't your job to protect your Brother when you were a child. It was your parent's or guardian's job and it sounds like they didn't do it very well.

If you can work with the guilt instead of letting it control you, then thins will most likely be good for you and your Bro. But if you think for a second that it could cause you and him to have issues with boundaries, I would suggest finding a counselor to talk to about this to help you work things through.

I'm glad you and your Brother have each other and I hope things work out. Keep us posted.

callusedthoughts, may you and your brother find a way to connect and grow.

[AShadow721]

Your title makes it appear you are shocked, apprehensive, or anxious about him coming to live with you. Are you worried about it? I'm a little apprehensive about my husband getting out. Well, he has 6-7 months left. Although he seems to be a very loving and concerned parent to my son, he's never met him, so I wonder how it's going to go. But I do trust him more than most people with my son, because he does share my beliefs about parenting. Also, he's always been here for me emotionally, through everything and he has protected me anyway he could and saved me. You make it sound like your brother was a very good man who cared for and protected you, despite what his consequences could be. But do make sure you maintain those boundaries like Elysium has said. I hope your brother can be of some emotional support to you while he stays with you. Good luck.

[callusedthoughts]

Originally Posted by AShadow721

Your title makes it appear you are shocked, apprehensive, or anxious about him coming to live with you. Are you worried about it?

I guess I am a bit shocked, but not because hes coming to live with me but because hes getting out already, I am happy but I am also very anxious. I know that he and I will get along just fine but I also have a boyfriend who is very involved with my life and my daughters, I don't know how my brother is going to react to that. I know they knew each other briefly before he was locked up, but I am not sure if they got along or anything. I just don't want to loose my life as it is now.

[Yoda]

I wish the best for you and your brother.

[callusedthoughts]

Today at 3:15 I will be going to pick up my brother from jail. I'm a bit nervous but I am also very excited. I have been the only one in my family to keep in contact with him and I guess its for good reason, but I feel that even if he did do something bad he needs me none the less. I need to stand by him like he stood by me all those years ago. My daughter keeps asking me when we are gonna pick up her uncle, shes very happy about this, but my boyfriend he seems very anxious... Hes on edge like he never has been before, I don't know what has his all up and tight, perhaps he never did get along with my brother... Anyways I have everything ready for when he gets to my house, and I even bought him new cloths and stuff... I just hope things don't change too much.

How is it going, allusedthoughts?

[callusedthoughts]

Well things are going great between my brother, my daughter, and I. But my boyfriend has been picking up more work so that I think he can keep out of the house... When ever my brother and my boyfriend are in the same place things get really tense, I love them both and I think they both know that and I hope that they know I would never be able to pick between them.

Sorry this is happening. I hope the guys come to realize their attitudes could lead to something they will regret.