[Jenn1fer82]

I am a 27 year old female that is the oldest of 6 children in my home. I'll be graduating with my BA in social work. I received the response from my school that I'm not accepted into the master program. My 23 year old brother and I are both graduating this year and I can't help it but to notice that my mom is head over heels for the excitement of his achievement and I'm in his shadows. It may have taken me a few years longer to finally graduate but it was only because of my health that my education was put on hold. I'm on the search for a job or internship and things look pretty slim but I'm not going to give up. I really feel like I'll never be good enough for her. He's a computer science and I'm just a social worker. He's already been on interviews and it's hard enough for me to find anything that will hire me and will be understanding that I'm not able to drive because of my seizures. With every job I've looked into they all require me to drive but that won't be possible for me.

[Elysium]

(((((Jenn1fer82))))))

Don't invalidate your achievements. You have worked hard to get where you are at with your life and schooling. It's not easy to work through our illnesses and be able to function at work or school and be successful. You are an amazing person and deserve just as much kudos and congratulations as your Bro.

One thing I know about Social Work programs....they can be very selective on who they accept. It may have nothing to do with you per se, but maybe this year you didn't meet their stringent criteria. There will be other programs and other years so please keep hanging in there.

The other thing.....there is a flood of Social Workers out their looking for jobs right now. More Social Workers than there are jobs, so it may take you a while to find a job. Keep plugging away for those internships and something will come.

You have reason to be proud of yourself and a right to be proud of yourself. YOUR AWESOME!!! Let yourself celebrate that.

Waiting for other people's acknowledgment is going to keep you in a constant state of disappointment that you do not deserve or need.

Acknowledge your own successes. You're living your life for you...not for them.

Congratulations!!

[Mike_J]

Are you good enough for you?

That is the important question, you will never NEVER be able to please/be accepted/be good enough for everyone.

Do yourself a favor, go look into a mirror and scream "DAM I'M GOOD ENOUGH FOR ME" if you can do that let everything else go, your opinion of you is the only one that counts. If you live your live trying to seek the approval of others while forgetting about yourself then your missing out.

Ever been on an airplane? The reason I ask is that they tell you if the oxgen masks drop down, to put yours on first, then assist others. If you don't take care of yourself, believe in yourself, FIRST then nothing else matters.

Congratulations on graduating, Jenn1fer82. I hope your future is one you find rewarding and meaningful.

Good luck.

[Changeling412]

Jenn1fer82: First I want to say congrats on your accomplishment.

I completely understand your situation because I've gone through it myself only it wasn't my mother, it was my brother. He was always very critical of me growing up and it seemed like no matter how hard I tried, no matter what I accomplished, no matter what good deed I'd done, it was never good enough for him.

I spent most of my life trying to get his approval and then one day I asked myself....did it really matter in the greater scheme of things whether or not he approved of me and how I've lived my life? Yes, it would feel good to have heard him say that he was proud of me, that he was happy for me, that he knew I could do whatever I set my mind to, that no matter what...he loved me. The words never came so I continued to live my life in a way that made me proud of myself and said to hell with the rest of it. It wasn't easy but it can be done.

Have u ever expressed how u feel to your mother? Maybe if u say it out loud she will hear it and understand how her behavior makes u feel. She may even make the effort to change the behavior. If not, YOU have got to move on with your life and accept that you will never get the approval you need from her and let it go.

I hope things get better for you. Take care!

Congratulations on your accomplishment, and if you have more barriers to overcome than the next person, you deserve even MORE congratulations.

I've also given up on my family's approval. There's always going to be something they criticize. If I were to become a doctor, they'd wonder why I wasn't a surgeon, and if I became a surgeon, they'd wonder why I haven't won the Nobel prize yet.

I'm not saying it's right, or that you should do it, but if I were you I might say to my mother, "I can understand why you're so excited about brother's graduation. After all, he's the only one in the family doing it." Yes, I can be very sarcastic, and that's why I don't recommend doing what I would do.