Could he be "making up" his fiancée?

This is probably going to sound really strange, selfish, and wishful, but there's a guy I like. He's funny, sweet, and just plain awesome. However, he says he has a fiancée...thing is, he rarely (and I mean RARELY) talks about her. Nobody here has ever met her. Nobody has talked to her on FaceBook, or has had any interaction whatsoever to prove she exists. And the biggest thing is, he doesn't act at all like a guy who's engaged, in love, or even in a relationship at all! He flirts with me CONSTANTLY, hardcore, and I flirst back. We're constantly exchanging sexual banter and innuendo, and he has NEVER said anything about him having a girlfriend or maybe he shouldn't or his girlfriend would be jealous...

If he does have a girl, I'm totally fine with that. I've been respectful of his supposed relationship up until lately, when I've started to flirt (more obviously), to kind of test him. But I've had experience with people making up significant others; my best friend in 9th grade was a compulsive liar, and made up several people, and went to great lengths to get others to believe in them. This whole thing with this guy's "fiancée" feels exactly like that; my intuition is making the "liar identification" bells in my head go berserk.

And I suppose if it is even possible that he's making her up...what does that say about him? Knowing him, the first thing that comes to my mind is that it keeps girls from hitting on him, as a protective thing (simply because, to be honest, I've told strange guys that I have a boyfriend to get them to go away; what girl hasn't??). If that's so, it could easily be that, if he now likes/trusts me, he doesn't want to lose my respect by admitting that this girl (or his relationship to her) doesn't exist.

Yeah, so I'm totally...baffled by this, and really have no clue where to go and what to do from here...We graduate in 8 days, and there's a good chance that, if I don't make a move now, I might never get that chance. What should I do?? How can I figure out if this girl is real??

I don't see how you can work with it either way? If he's lying, you don't like that, even if he ever does come clean and say he was doing it to keep others away, etc. because you don't know what else he'll lie about and he's been doing it too long now. If he's telling the truth, I don't like that she isn't seemingly in the picture (I don't respect her, if she exists, for "allowing" that) AND that he's flirting heavy core.

Does anyone know her name? Maybe she is posting on his page occasionally. I'm married and we're both on Facebook but neither of us "full-time" and when I was, my husband still was not but I think both our pages say the other is our husband/wife? I would ask him her name and look for her on his page, etc. and ask what the story is if she's not around. Call his bluff and/or drop him before you get more involved and find out more lies or are lied to more, either one.

He has pictures of her on his facebook (them together so this time it's not pics that someone copied from google ).

I'm so, so, so, so, so stupid...and that probably just ruined my weekend.

I'm going to go...do something...idk.

Sorry about this, AtreyuFreak. Congratulations on the upcoming graduation.

Can I delete this somehow? I now feel incredibly stupid...

Take it easy on yourself, AtreyuFreak. Things happen. Learn and move on.

People do strange things to protect themselves.

hey...don't worry about your post....we post lots of stuff here and share our thoughts together....nobody really cares and we don't judge each other....

Your feelings for him is totally valid....and I suggest if you really really like him, just tell him....tell him that you really enjoy his company and if he was not engaged, you would have liked to know him better....that's all....and just keep it simple....

I have a very good guy friend for more than 12 years....I had big crush on him always....(not anymore)....He's two years older than me and I've never seen him with any girl....he's 38 now....figure out....at some point I thought he's gay....I might have told him even.....I know he loves me so much (not sure which kind of love, probably like a sister)....the only girl's picture you see in his facebook is me....even I found out he tagged one of my pictures under his name (I'm alone in the photo!) he wanted the photo to be under his profile.....

by that I mean, you never know what is going on in the guy's mind....sometimes, they have sexual issues and they know they can't please a girl, so they say that they have a girlfirend to be safe...or just even he has really a girlfriend....

but again my suggestion to you is to tell him the truth....trust me nothing bad will happen....probably even he opens up to you....you never know!

good luck
Marjan

I could be way off here, but I still just get the feeling that this girl (whoever he is) is more like a sister to him...he doesn't seem like a man in love! I would know, I've seen it! He does not act like that at all. Yes, I can see that he cares for her, but it doesn't seem romantic or intimate whatsoever. Anyway, if he someone does not know that I like him, I'm gonna try to work up the courage to tell him on the last day of school (in like 3 days)...then, if I'm embarassed beyond belief, I never have to see him again in person (tho I'll probably still talk to him online/via txt).

why embarrassed? there is nothing wrong with telling somebody that you like him.....I think you should be proud of yourself for doing such a thing....and don't wait till last minute to tell him....just tell him in a nice manner....and don't be interfere with his current relationship, if there is any.....probably, you can tell him that you can see a connection with him and you wish he was available....
I want you to be brave and not think about this as an embarrassing situation....you are in control and you got to tell her the way that doesn't make any of you feel bad....
let us know what you did and good luck
Marjan

I would think staying away and not flirting with someone who says they have a fiancee or g/f, whether they do or not, would be the best move. Nothing you can do about this now, but in the future its simply puts the odds in favor of you getting hurt. I don't think thats your plan is it.

i think i agree with envision on this. if this guy is engaged and has been such a big flirt with you without ever mentioning his fiancé then he may not be such a great guy to be with. if i were in your shoes i think i'd cut my losses and run. sorry, that's probably not what you want to hear.