[dpadilla89]

well today seemed quite interesting,

i went to school today and i was a nervous wreck. it started out getting there, and i was completely nervous. I was looking for her car in the parking lot, heh. Then i walked inside and i i was the second person there in the cafeteria where we wait for the bell to ring at 8am. Anyways, this really other hott teacher walked in and i couldnt help but to stare. lol. It was wierd because right away i thought of my therapist/lunch aide. heh. yeahh, anyways, the bell had rang and so i walked up stairs to homeroom. I then told my friend Christine who has "her" for individual therapy. She's like, i wont tell a soul..anyways...she said that theyd probably take me out of fam. therapy with her because of a relationship problem or something along those lines, lol. im like, wtf?? (i was thinking about talking about it with my individual therapist, thats why.) soo, she even said that both of my therapists talk to eachother, its so obvious they share eachother's opinions and thoughts about the students. anyways, i was nervous ALL day, she came by my science classroom by her office and was looking for a girl named, Amanda. I turned around-got bright red im sure, and was about to die, lol. So, then i went off too hisotry, saw her there too. i couldnt even look her in the eye because i knew i would just keep staring at her or give glances towards her. heh. Anyways, lunchtime came. She sits literally like...10 feet away from our lunch table. So i was talking to my friend Christine about "her" and joking around with me. Then we started to talk about how we wanted to get really drunk and high this weekend. lol. I think she might of heard both of the topics we were talking about because, she was staring at me i think like looking almost suspicioius at what we were saying. lol. ehh lifes full of surprizes. My heart is like pounding right now, and im home...and im all nervous and shaky and my nerves are ALL over the place. idkk, its turning into a real problem for me, shes all i think about and i cant stop thinking about her every minute. idkk, great..its going to be like this every day so far this week, ill bet anyone a billion dollars! haha. i swear i know it. and i cant talk about it with ANY of my therapists, especially in group therapy, that would totally blow. haha. yeahh, so0o0o, idk what to do anymore to be honest with all of you...thats like, all who im attracted too, older woman, ESPECIALLY in authority. haha. sounds crazy?? idk, i guess so. Well, anyone with questions, comments, or advice for me, please do NOT hesitate. Well, thanks for listening everyone.

deb<3

PS--does anyone know where i could meet any older lol--single lez's anywhere? lol, sounds wierd i know, but..maybe i could have a better chance???

boo.

i want her so badly.

[LMo]

Hey Deb. Sounds like a lot going on. Not sure where you could find someone older to date -- you'd be out of luck legally with anyone over 18. I think you kinda need to stick to people your own age for the next few years.

Not sure if there is anything where you live, but a friend of mine runs an afterschool queer youth group. Maybe there is something like that in your area.

Here are a couple of links you could try:

1. Gay-Lesbian Education Straight Education Network (GLSEN)
http://www.glsen.org
2. Parents and Friends of Lesbians and Gays (PFLAG)
http://www.pflag.org
3. Outside-In
http://outsidein.org
4. Gay-Straight Alliance Network
http://oregongsa.org
5. School-Based Health Center Program
http://www.ehealth4teens.org

[rebecca8]

it's not weird that you're attracted to women in authority. do you have a good dad? i ask because i'm almost 100% positive that's why i'm more attracted to older guys. i know, i know, you like girls, but it's kinda the same, if you can understand what i mean. you want someone to take care of you, maybe offer you the emotional security a person of your own age could not. i'm only guessing based on my own personal experiences. i think getting into a youth group is an EXCELLENT idea. if you choose to tell your parents while still living at home, it might help to have some support to back you up too. is your mom open minded? mine's not, so i can relate. also, as far as dating older women right now, it would be wise not to. i can say this because i've lived through it. when you are that young, an older person that is interested in you enough to actually date you is NOT normal. i "dated" someone 20 years older than i. let me tell you, it got really weird, and awkward after awhile. it might help you sooooo much if you could find a therapist to help you explore the possible reasons why you're attracted to older women. in fact, i think you can talk to a therapist on this site. i'm pretty sure, look around on the first page that comes up when you arrive at the site. i hope you figure this all out while you're still young, but you know, we all have to learn our very own lessons the hard way sometimes. let's hope not though. : ) take care.