[Jenn1fer82]

I have little patience, defensive and quick to start yelling when my bf and I start fighting. I continue to push his buttons until he starts yelling back when all he wants is for me to stop yelling at him so that we can actually figure out how to solve the real problem. This last fight was totally stupid and I'm at fault. I made a big deal over nothing and it ended where we fought like cats and dogs and I wouldn't stop yelling until I literally became sick. (A side note: I have seizures where I faint.) I don't like the way I fight and I can see it in my bf's eyes that he's tried of it and it makes him so unhappy. He tells me that no matter what it is I always have a way to turn it around to where it is always his fault. He said just because I've been this way all your life and my own family have put it with it, it doesn't mean he has to live with it for the rest of his life. He's made me realize how unhappy I've made him and I want to change.

How do I get a hold of my anger? In the mist of my raw emotions I just want to defend myself and lash out. Help me I don't want to lose my bf. I feel so horrible about myself. I'm not fighting fair.

[Soul Quake]

Maybe you can excuse yourself from the situation and take a walk, or go into another room and write down what you're feeling, or even what you want to say. Then when you calm down, sit and talk with your boyfriend.

Introspection might be helpful as well. Ask yourself why you feel the need to get defensive. You know the outcome isn't worth getting the final word.

[jenae91093]

My boyfriend at the time had this problem. He tried everything, but she said that something in side him just snapped and he couldn't stop arguing. He didn't want us to break up either, and since nothing was working, he went to the therapist. His dad is a bit bipolar, but he didn't have the same syptoms. The therapist said he had cyclothemia or something close to bipolarism, and he gave him medication that would keep him from snapping and yelling for no reason. I wouldn't recommend going to a therapist unless nothing else works though.

[jenkins09]

Do you feel your addicted to chaos? if there is peace in the home, do you feel the need to create conflict? I give you credit, at least you recognize you have a serious issue. I would suggest going to therapy and being brutally honest about your anger.

I sought out therapy for my anger and I now control it, it doesnt control me. I used to be a volcano, I kept spewing my venom until it was out, I felt relief, but hated myself for seeing the damage I had caused. Go to counseling, figure out why your so angry and begin living a new life.

Hello, Jenn1fer82. You have received some excellent advice. Also, there a many articles about managing anger online.

Good luck.