The Sociopath....

Last night, I actually had a very distressing dream about going to court and having to face the stalker/sociopath. There was no resolution in the dream, and blame was even placed upon me with my own defense lawyer referring to me in disparaging ways regarding sexuality. I think just writing here about the experience resurrected my pain and confusion about the person. I tend to try to "fix" things, you know. There is NO fixing with such a person. In my conscious life, I know that intellectually. And, of course, it happened almost 7 years ago, and I have moved on with my life. Despite that, I have also had recurring dreams about killing him (with the help of my daughter and best galfriend), then being investigated by the police who visit me asking penetrating questions. I think this too points to my sense of responsibility, that no relationship should be so wrong, and that I should have somehow been more perceptive, thus, avoiding the disastrous climax.
I guess I've learned from it that some people just can't be helped, and that in the end we are only responsible for our won reactions and behaviors. Life goes on!
Seeker

Seeker,

IMHO if we are still having dreams and upsetting thoughts about a person, then they still have some form of power over us. It is like they have left us with a bad smell that we can't get rid of. Of course, if this person was a parent or guardian, then so much the harder.

Real freedom comes when we can think of that person as a problem for anyone they have hurt, and as a problem for themselves. We have finally detached from them when we can visualise them for what they are, or have been, but not in connection with us any longer.

One life coach said that anger from being hurt and duped can take a very long time to pass, and we have to let it take that time, commensurate with the original pain. We can't avoid it or dump it on others.

Once we have been through the process, then we are free to move on, and hopefully to avoid the situation happening again. We will recognise a new situation by the feeling it gives us, and avoid getting burned again.

Fire burns us, but we don't need to feel angry that fire exists, we just have to step aside from it. The key, in my view, is to see the sociopathic individual for what they are, and step aside from them in future. It's a tough lesson, but there are plenty of people out there still learning it, and who will have to learn it in the future.

Peaceful thoughts, M

Most of the worse serial Killers have all been very intelligent People. They are smart and without any conscience what so ever. Being smart is what really makes them dangerous. They pick up on what your needs are then put on a mask that reflects his or her ability to meet those needs. Don't blame yourself. Do pay attention to the warning signs .