Maybe it was a bad idea but...

I told my Bipolar husband if he didn't come home and get the help he needs I will fight to have him recommitted to a hospital. I know I am limited in what I can actually do but I need to do something. Maybe this warning will snap him out of this episode. I am desperate. I can't keep "moving on" like nothing happened just because he can turn his emotions on and off like a switch.

I know, I probably sound obsessive about him but he is my husband, the love of my life and he's sick and I can't just let him go. I cannot do it even if it kills me. I feel so strongly about this and nobody understands. That's all I hear is to let him go because he'll never get better and I'll have to keep dealing with his outbursts but I want to. Does that make me wrong or does it mean I love and am committed to my husband?

I don't want to move on with my life without him. I simply can't. That's not a suicide threat or anything it's just a fact, I will never be able to be happy and love again without him.

lisadhum1, I greatly admire your compassion for the plight of your husband.

Don't listen to the negativity; recovery is possible with this illness. It may take years, and the first step is often the hardest because the individual has no rationale. He has to see that he is sick. As long as the love is there and you are not in danger (both physically and emotionally), stick it out.

Thank you. You don't know how nice it is to hear that. Maybe it sounds naive of me to think I can change the world but I always believed I could and it starts at home. The more I think about my situation and others' that I'm reading about on here, the more I want to fight to be an advocate for mental health and for those who need/want help.

I'm on the Board of Directors for suicide prevention organization and going to school for my PhD in pysch for cryin' out loud, I have spent years helping others because someone helped me, and I now am in fight mode. I spent my time crying and feeling depressed and now I am going to fight with everything in me. Even if I can't save my marriage maybe I can help save someone else's in the future. I just can't give up. I can't and I won't.

It always starts with the underdog...

I applaud you!! I feel the same!

Follow your own heart,

I don't know who gave you the negative atittude Lisa but I'd be sure they didn't intend to do that; I remember giving you a path of action that didn't actually involve threats, but enlisted the help of the treating doctors who put him into hospital last time.

Whatever you do I hope it is safe and that if he is going through an episode rather than honestly not loving you any longer and that it calms down and he comes home soon

Rhian

... and I followed it. Unfortunately the I have been having to leave messages with the hospital and those who worked with him. My patience wears thin at times... I haven't heard back from T, so who knows what he's thinking about it. I also did send an email to his dad and although I would rather have not groveled, I did but I also said that unless he wants to bury his 37 year old son either from suicide or having another heart attack, he needs to step up and get T help. I told him it that this has nothing to do with how his parents and I feel about each other but rather that if they truly loved their son they would put those feelings aside and help him.

I am still in fight mode but I have moments of desperation. I refuse to divorce him and if he doesn't ever come home then I will have a hard time but I will accept it. I wish someone would help me. If I had an extra 2000 dollars laying around for a lawyer this would be going smoother but I don't.

UPDATE: Well I have taken all advice into consideration and wanted to update everyone who's been helping. I have gone to the police and was told that unless he says he is suicidal or homicidal or tried to assault me, they can do nothing.

I am still waiting for the hospital my husband was in to call me back. I have little hope they will and I have left 2 messages so far. I contacted the state advocacy office and was informed that what I was told by a lawyer about getting guardianship so I can have my husband committed again isn't true and was told to call NAMI and see if they had any other options. I simply cannot understand how I have this proof that my husband needs help and isn't thinking "normally" but essentially unless he wants it nobody can help him or have him committed with a court order but...nobody will help me get a court order and since I was denied the first time for reasons still unclear to me, unless I can find a lawyer who does pro-bono to help me take my husband to court, I'm ***** out of luck.

I started therapy this morning and I feel okay about it. I just wish I could help my husband. I received an email from him and he said wants nothing to do with me anymore and there will be no further contact from him and he is going to ignore any from me.

So... I don't know what else can be done. My therapist reassured me that given his history he will end up in a hospital because of his heart or "Bipolar" sooner or later. Also she confirmed what a lot of you have suggested about his dx not being Bipolar but being Borderline, which makes a lot of sense to me now. She also said that sometimes when people snap they might not ever be the way they were again and I need to learn how to deal with that.

No one can help another unless they want it. Look at all the homeless. What we see as help, the person themselves does not so unless they ask for help, threaten to hurt themselves or another, not much we can do.

Did you contact your local NAMI?

Yes I did contact them today and filled in on the support groups and some other info that could help me. I pray more than anything that my husband realizes he needs help before it's too late. I asked my dad what he thought about maybe coming to the support groups too since he was close to my husband and he told me not to get support and just wait until a hospital calls saying he's locked up or dead.

I don't get it...I really don't.