[Jenn1fer82]

My bf and I have been together for a year now and I love him. I don't want to state my reason why but I feel I am obligated to stay wit him. If it wasn't for that reason then I would have already ended our relationship. I'm not happy with the relationship because I'm now realizing how stressful things will be like when he finally gets his 4 children back. They are from the ages of 8 and 2. I'm only 28yrs old and already I have to think about caring for 4 children and budgeting to ensure we have enough food for the kids too blah blah. When I dated him it was only us but now we're going through the legal stuff to get share custody for the kids. When I think about his kids I think about how my fun personal life is over. It just doesn't seem like it'll be fun and exciting anymore. I'm young and I don't want to put my life on hold and have to share it with his children. I'm not ready to care for kids.

Hello, Jenn1fer. Life is about choices. Since you plan to stay, perhaps you may choose to make the best of it.

Good luck.

You need to be honest with him. He and the children deserve honesty.

[lynn P.]

If you've really thought this over - you need to be honest with him. Have you thought about having children yourself one day and does he want to have more children after having 4 already - some men don't. Better to make this decision before you get too deep.

[Rhiannonsmoon]

Jennifer,

In one sentence you say you love him then you say you feel obligated to him. You obviously live together by indicating the budgeting etc.

Did you support him in his decision to get his kids in part custody? It isn't something he would decide on his own if you are in a relationship and if you did support him and tell him you would be there for him, it is vital that you are honest with him now before it goes any further.

He may want a relationship with you to survive and that would alter his situation greatly. Please discuss it with him,

Rhian

[Damnaged_S0ul]

My advice is not to stay with him out of obligation, if you have issues with his children I'd let him know so he can find someone more suited to him.
You sound as though you feel you HAVE to stay with him.
A guy doesn't want to feel as though you'd rather be elsewhere.
That's asking for trouble in the relationship from this point onward.

[Jenn1fer82]

I'm just really scared on how to live with his children. I don't know how to turn my life upside down, sideways blah blah. I feel I'm not ready to share my life with four other children. I don't know how to take of them. I don't even know how to talk to kids in general. I'm selfish i suppose and I still want to live my life for myself and share it with my bf and only him but now the time is coming close and his children will come back soon. I supported him all the way to get his kids back. I am the one that loaned him $2,000 to hire a lawyer to take his ex to court. It is a ugly mess.

[justjoanie]

Honesty. That's the only way to go about this. I speak from experience. My ex said he was all ready to be a step dad, but he was faking. We were together for 7 years, and those years were horrible. He didn't like kids in general, much less mine. My kids fell in love with him because he was faking in the beginning. Their hearts were broken when he couldn't "act like a dad" anymore.
Please be honest with him for the sake of the kids, and yourself and your partner.
Don't stay in that situation out of obligation. You're running head first into a painful life.