[hoping4best]

hi, i've come up with a realtionship issue ofcourse. actually i got in touch with nice guy andstayed in touch 4 about 6 months. then he moved to some other country for job. i knew that he had to go but it all happened so quickly that i didnt even get time togather myself up. i was emotionally attached to him. we never actually met but u know in south asia only talking to a guy can b enough to get u into an emotional relationship.

anyway. he stopped contacting me once he moved away. but i just couldnt move on. even though abt 5 months have passed. i donno what to do as i was so much dependent on him. he was a great support emotionally and he was a really nice guy.but see what this nice guy has done to me. he knew it very well that i was dependent on him so he didnt even bother to tell me when he got away that things r not going to b the same as before and that i should give up on him now. i pleaded continuosly during all this time that if he has decided to move on he should simply tell me off instead of making me figure this out myself from his behaviour.

now............ he has finally told me off. ... i have him on facebook and i have his contact number. i dont know what should i do now. there's no chance that he will come back to me. but i dont want to remove him from my facebbok list for few reasons....
1) he has told me to remove him....why should i take orders from him?! huh.
2) i tried this before aswell and had removed him but he didnt even take notice and i missed him so much that i again added him.
3) i want to spy on him from facebbok,lol, and i donno may be i want to give him impression that im still happy by putting this thing up on my facebook status. i read it somewhere that if someone ditches u...dont show that u r weak and should always behave like as if nothing bad happened to u. the only way i can convey this msg to him is by FACEBOOK.

so what do u guys advice me on this? i really want to move on, to forget that guy,and to become a better person (as i know that there really are some deficiencies in me which repulsed him..it wasnt entirely his fault to dump me ).

im eagerly waiting for u guys to come to my help. i just cant gather myself up coz im kind ov shattered. i know such a trivial thing (as some ppl might say this) must not affect my life in such a bad way. waiting for ur response. thanks.

[Pomegranate]

Jikhan, it was entirely his decision (his fault) to dump you. Something in him could not accept you as you are. That's his problem not yours.

Forget him. Disconnect from him on facebook and start forcing yourself to do and think about other things. Get out with your girlfriends, get some hobbies, find things you like to do and do them. Whenever you think of him, think of the poison sign. Switch the channel in you mind to something else. He does not deserve space in your head.

[hoping4best]

.. i really hope i can b able to forget him.

[Mixtress82]

Originally Posted by jiakhan

.. i really hope i can b able to forget him.

It's nearly impossible to forget people. However, it takes time to heal. Internet relationships seem to be the worst.
You feel more of a connection right from the start unlike having met someone in "real life", as I say.
Don't expect to get over him overnight or after a few months even. Everyone heals in their own time. Knowing his facebook account, and the fact that you can still see what he's up to online is such a temptation. Whatever you do, try not to give into that!
Try to find something to distract you from doing this, as it will only upset you more.

Just know that he was the one missing out by deciding to cut you off. Remember, there's always someone better out there. Don't go looking for him, wait for him to find you! Good luck to you, dear!

[hoping4best]

i too want to cut lose on him now.. however as far as deleting him from my facebook account is concerend,i doubt it that it will really help me or not,because u see its all mind game,isnt it? i've already deleted him for 3,4 times but i always would end up adding him again.

i really dunno why im like this?!!!! why dont i just go start living a normal life?!!!! or what im going through is normal..huh?

[hoping4best]

wont u guys suggest anything?

Your life will remain on hold untill you do somthing about it ......

We cant do it for you.

[Pomegranate]

Jikhan, I gave you some suggestions to start with. If you want more from other people here at PC I would suggest starting a new thread that asks for specific advice on how to get this guy out of your head. Also reading through other's posts might be helpful and give you some ideas.

[hoping4best]

hi evryone..
many months have passed and im still working on making my life less miserable. i deleted that guy from facebook..have stopped all sorts of communication with him..n now i THINK that im starting to feel better. though im very much sure that he would be seeing other girls , i try not to think about it as i really dont have any future with this guy.

i need more moral support please.

[Pomegranate]

jiakhan The holidays are a tough time for many people. We start thinking of old friends, imagine everyone else is much happier than we are, etc. etc. Keep doing what you've been doing. That you even "think" you are starting to feel better is a hopeful sign. You are doing the right thing for you. We are here for you.

[Tatyana2009]

I agree with all the above posts.

And well done to you for blocking him from your life. I am glad you are feeling better.

[hoping4best]

thanks for the support! im doing very well lately. the guy i have mentioned in this thread tried to call me yesterday but i didnt pick up and the reason is that i dont need him! i have finally accepted the fact that i dont have any future wid this guy and so i dont talk to him at all now.

[Rhiannonsmoon]

Hi jiakhan

I read from the 2nd of July to yesterday. In all honesty it sounded like there never was a relationship other than the one you created online. I started to get concerned at what I was reading and was worried that you may be a stalker.

As I read and realised that you certainly have had ideas and support fromo a number of people I came to the decision that you just don't have a clue as to what is really going on in your life. You have several posts regarding this one guy and in each one you give a different indication as to how you are feeling about what happened and how things are panning out.

I honestly urge you to get therapy from a psychiatrist and if they suggest medication I would agree with them. Therapy is a mutli-pronged tool which works best when used correctly and as suggested.

Until your mind is on a level you may have continued troubles in dealing with relationships and in handling relationships realistically

[hoping4best]

Originally Posted by Rhiannonsmoon

Hi jiakhan

I read from the 2nd of July to yesterday. In all honesty it sounded like there never was a relationship other than the one you created online. I started to get concerned at what I was reading and was worried that you may be a stalker.

As I read and realised that you certainly have had ideas and support fromo a number of people I came to the decision that you just don't have a clue as to what is really going on in your life. You have several posts regarding this one guy and in each one you give a different indication as to how you are feeling about what happened and how things are panning out.

I honestly urge you to get therapy from a psychiatrist and if they suggest medication I would agree with them. Therapy is a mutli-pronged tool which works best when used correctly and as suggested.

Until your mind is on a level you may have continued troubles in dealing with relationships and in handling relationships realistically

Dear Rhiannonsmoon,
i really appreciate ur concern for me i have replied to ur another post as well... yeah i do think that i should seek professional help regarding this but i want to add that i DID go to a psychiatrist and a clinical psychologist too.....and all they told me was that i need to involve myself in other activities,i need to hang out with friends etc etc. well i did all that and i started feeling better but i seriously doubt it. yes, i stalk him on the internet.i still do. i checkout his facebook profile yesterday. im not included in his friends list so i couldnt access his wall and photos but i had a look at his display pic and gosh he's handsome! my heart started aching again. and then at night i messaged him ,to which he hasnt replied and i know that he never will.
im already having difficulty in starting new relationships.... im gonna post a new thread about this new guy. i hope you still have to suggest more regarding my issues. many thanks!