[El-ahrairah]

I don't where to start but I just never had much connection with them in my teen years, when I was young I craved all the attention I could get but don't remember much but going to the sitters as my mom worked hard for cash and I guess my dad did too, he would party a lot and not be home much from what my moms told me.

Anyways recently I find myself tired of being around my family, they just give me headache after headache.

My dad blows 7 grand in under a month on god knows what, he says he's working but there is no money coming in and he lets people walk all over him and use him and instead of yelling at them he takes it out on us for any little thing. I suspect he's either cheating on my mom which I wouldn't be surprised about or he's using drugs but I don't think it's that because other than his anger and moodiness there is no other change physically like red eyes, sweat , weight loss, ect.

My mom I love her but I don't know sometimes shes mean and emotionally abusive about my imperfect body and sometimes shes very nice. I dont know what to think. I have borderlines and schizo pal and it's hard to tell what's real and what's not.. I'm a sensitive individual so sometimes things aren't as bad as they feel. I cant eat around my mom because I feel like she's judging me and it hurts.

I don't know what to do or think, this week my mom called me a stupid ***** and just now my father called me a stupid b***h. I'm old enough to move but I don't wanna feel like I'm abandoning them but I can't stay in an emotionally abusive environment, it's so harmful and who knows what drastic thing I'd do if I lost control of my emotions...

I have a younger brother also, who listens to my mom and I feel he is loved more than I even though he's a brat.

Someone please help me I don't know what to do.

[AkAngel]

First of all, I'm so sorry you have to endure this painful situation. Sometimes when we live abusive situations it becomes normalized and we have a hard time determining what is healthy. I know you said that you're sensitive and sometimes it's hard to tell what is real and what isn't but 'you're a stupid *****' and 'you're a stupid *****' are not open to interpretation. Both comments are inexcusable and innappropriate.

I know that people get trapped in their family of origin and I don't know what is right for you but I would like to share that my mother was extremely emotionally abusive to me as well. Like you, I felt that my younger sibling was loved more, at least by my mother. My father was constantly at work though he was great; never an unkind word from him. It turned out that he really was working and it was my mom who took advantage of him being gone to cheat on him.

Eventually what I had to do was to cut all ties with my mother. That wouldn't have been a healthy choice for me if I retained all that hurt, shame and guilt she nurtured but I worked through it. I hold no malice toward my mother; she is just a miserable person who did the best she could - her best just happens to stink. I don't know what you're answer is but I have found that removing all the negative people from my life allowed me to heal from the emotional damage and start creating healthy supportive relationships with people who treated me the way I deserve to be treated.

Good luck.

Originally Posted by The Bakery

I'm old enough to move but I don't wanna feel like I'm abandoning them but I can't stay in an emotionally abusive environment, it's so harmful and who knows what drastic thing I'd do if I lost control of my emotions...

I have a younger brother also, who listens to my mom and I feel he is loved more than I even though he's a brat.

Someone please help me I don't know what to do.

Bakery,

As far as harmful enviroments, i would advise it best to talk to a T or someone similar about moving out before you actually do, moving out is a big big change in life, it incurrs a load of new emotional stress unless financially your very well off.
Staying in a harmful situation, is like standing in the rain without a coat. It will affect you, you need to find a way, even if its to lodge with some freinds or other family if thats possible to give you time to try and give you space ?
I can relate to the younger brother bit, However in a different way that i cant go into.
At the end of the day I can only say what i think is helpful Bakery, I cant tell you what to do.
I would love to make everything right, but that is beyond my power.
((((Bakery))))

[Rhiannonsmoon]

I understand how you feel and why you feel this way ((((Bakery))))...my family finally fell apart when dad died...the only one who was there to stop the lot of them from feeding on me...I finally walked away a few weeks ago...so I understand where you are coming from...

Rhiannon

[El-ahrairah]

Hi guys, I changed my screen name from Bakery to this, I'll reply but I have a terrible migraine so ill wait till that passes and I can concentrate