[sara 20]

Im very confused and irritated right now.Ive been in some kind of relashnship for 8 mounths ,during that time he made me think that Im the most important person in his life butsuddenly he realized he is still in love with his exgirl friend and after that he act like nothing happened.Im having very different feelings .But worst part is that now there is a guy that shows interest in me .He hasnt asked me out because I keep avoiding him because I dont konw what to do .I dont love him I dont know even If I like him or not.Im scared that may be new guy is the one but ......
Please help me

http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/...fect-partner-0
http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/...unhealthy-doub
http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/...y-relationship

[lynn P.]

Sara 20 - I think you need some time to heal from your recent relationship before getting into another one. Right now you're still hurt, confused and filled with self doubt -this isn't a nurturing atmosphere for a new relationship. Perhaps you could be just friends for now and explain you're still healing.

[Jenn1fer82]

You need to decide where you want your life to go. If you really feel that your bf is really the guy and he is worth for you to go through all the hassle then stick it out with him. If there is any doubt then I say move on regardless if you have this new guy on the side. You don't want to stick with someone who still has feelings for an ex and he can't make up his own mind on what he wants. Thats drama waiting for you. Maybe the both of you guys need to take a break and figure things out on your own and find out what do each of you guys want in your own life. Get away from the distractions and find out what you want in your own life and what will make you happy.

[Marie67]

Hi Sara, if it's any help, every decision I have ever made from fear has turned out badly. Slow down, give yourself some space to just be yourself and live your own life. A boyfriend who isn't over his ex after eight months with you is not good for you. Neither is a man you don't love... why are you worried he might be the one if you don't love him, or did I read that right? You don't have to choose either of these guys, or any guy, for that matter. You are enough in yourself. Ironically, you are more likely to meet a Mr. Right when you don't really need one. because as long as you think you need one, you aren't really ready. Love yourself; that's the beginning. Love yourself even when you don't like yourself; be especially kind to yourself when you're tired, freaked out, bratty, whatever, because that's when you need it most. Sending you lots of love,

Marie

[Rhiannonsmoon]

Hello sara,

I agree completely with Lynn and marie. Take some time out allow yourself to heal and then if you want another relationship be careful who you choose and what they are like. What some people don't undertsand is that 8 months is nothing and the reaction to this sort of thing happening in a "relationship" is really very normal for a great deal of relationships.

Younger women are far too trusting far too early and they throw themselves into a relationship far far too early and then wonder what went wrong. Remember one thing...most (not all) men of the 16 - 26 age bracket are more interested in nailing sex than developing a relationship. That isn't me being rude or cruel or judgemental, it is a biological and mental fact.

Also with him jumping out of the relationship with his gf straight into a relationship with you doesn't bode good for your relationship it is called rebounding and it happens in a high percentage of relationships that break up. I don't give many relationships a high chance of success when someone leaves their partner for someone else, it is just something that tends to fail.

I have a very healthy respect for women who take things one day at a time and enjoy the developmental stages of a relationship rather than throwing themselves in boots and all only to find they moved too fast and get hurt.

Brush yourself off and be glad that you were not stuck with a cheater, there are much better men out there than this one...and you deserve a much better one...work on yourself you deserve to...

Rhiannon

[uoffl]

I think you should take a time-out just to think things over. It'll help when you get the chance to calm down and see things in a clear perspective.