[Atraxotoxin]

Right, so, two things.

One is just something random that happened to me just now and it really. freaked. me. out. I was looking up different gay movies to watch because I'm really kind of confused with my sexuality and gender preferences (who I like, who I want to be) and I was experimenting. I found this movie that looked fairly decent. The description seemed kind of awesome. I started watching the preview and it seemed okay, the girl was a bit older than I'd expected (I'm a teen, so, everyone seems a bit old in adult movies to me, haha), but it still seemed fine. I was looking forward to some good romance when, near the middle of the preview, I felt sick. My ex-boyfriend's father was the main male love interest. HOLY FREAKING HELL. Ugh. Oy. Whatever you want to say. It. was. horrible. I mean, like, this is the guy that when me and his son had a sleepover (we were really little, it was before we were going out), I felt sick and puked on in the middle of the night.
Thus, I'm looking for good romance lesbian movie suggestions. Anyone?

And on to the next thing...
I have this ex-girlfriend... And she's still my best friend, and I love her to death. But, even after a year, I still really, really miss her, and miss what we had. I guess she was my first serious relationship with a girl, and I get how I would just miss that in itself, but it's really, truly her. I've had relationships since then and so has she, but I can't help kind of having a secret hate of whoever she's dating. I really need to get over this, because the new school years starting and she's dating this man***** we're both friends with and I really don't want to start getting angry at him unexplainably.
So... How have any of you guys gotten over a relationship successfully?

Okay! Sorry for the rant, just something I had to get off my chest (especially the first. It might not seem like a lot but uuuughhhh).

[bridgie]

first I will agree I wouldn't want to see any of my ex's fathers in a movie like that. Time is a big thing with getting over a relationship. I'm supposing it ended well since you are still friends. Going on with your life hanging with other friends may be beneficial. Try not to hate on her current if you act all jealous and she sees that you may never have an opportunity to get back together. Who knows how long her current will last. Keep your options open so you don't miss out on anything. Who knows you may meet someone else that is another good match. Otherwise just be a good friend. even if you two never get back together you will always have a good friend and they are precious.

[serenity4559]

Yikes! I am so sorry to read about your experience with the friend's father who was in an adult film. That just has major yuck written all over it. I am so glad you are okay.

As far as your feelings for your ex goes, and the anger you have at her current girlfriend, it seems to me that this is natural, and as much as I would like to wave a magic wand, and make the pain go away, I cannot. Trust me, I wish I could, because I know how hard it is. Especially when you have to go to school with them and see them interacting every day, and you are friends with her new gal. That is tough.

I guess my only advice, is that it is okay to allow yourself to withdraw from these two for awhile this year. If you want to give yourself a chance to heal, you have to choose to walk through a new door, and allow a new chapter in your life to begin. This is a choice that only you can make.

For example, you could try to get alot of classes with your ex, or join the same clubs or sports teams (if you guys do that) and make an effort to be "around and available".

OR, you could own your power and set your own path.

This would mean doing something new, like joining a group she is not a part of.
It could mean joining the drama club or starting a new sport. That is scary and
uncomfortable, but getting out of your comfort zone always is.

Or try and take classes that she is not in, so that even if you have to see her and her
new gal in half your classes each day, the other half a day you get a breather.

Don't hang out with her and her ex after school, if you then just go home and mope.
I know how extremely difficult this is when you are in school together.
You may not have alot of options. But, those that you do, make use of.

In this way you can take care of your own emotional needs
and give yourself a chance to heal.

[Atraxotoxin]

Originally Posted by bridgie

first I will agree I wouldn't want to see any of my ex's fathers in a movie like that. Time is a big thing with getting over a relationship. I'm supposing it ended well since you are still friends. Going on with your life hanging with other friends may be beneficial. Try not to hate on her current if you act all jealous and she sees that you may never have an opportunity to get back together. Who knows how long her current will last. Keep your options open so you don't miss out on anything. Who knows you may meet someone else that is another good match. Otherwise just be a good friend. even if you two never get back together you will always have a good friend and they are precious.

Haha, right? It was so creepy! And yeah, I guess you're right. I am grateful that at least I'm still friends with her. Thanks for your advice! I'll try to lay low on the jealousy meter.

[Atraxotoxin]

Originally Posted by serenity4559

Yikes! I am so sorry to read about your experience with the friend's father who was in an adult film. That just has major yuck written all over it. I am so glad you are okay.

As far as your feelings for your ex goes, and the anger you have at her current girlfriend, it seems to me that this is natural, and as much as I would like to wave a magic wand, and make the pain go away, I cannot. Trust me, I wish I could, because I know how hard it is. Especially when you have to go to school with them and see them interacting every day, and you are friends with her new gal. That is tough.

I guess my only advice, is that it is okay to allow yourself to withdraw from these two for awhile this year. If you want to give yourself a chance to heal, you have to choose to walk through a new door, and allow a new chapter in your life to begin. This is a choice that only you can make.

For example, you could try to get alot of classes with your ex, or join the same clubs or sports teams (if you guys do that) and make an effort to be "around and available".

OR, you could own your power and set your own path.

This would mean doing something new, like joining a group she is not a part of.
It could mean joining the drama club or starting a new sport. That is scary and
uncomfortable, but getting out of your comfort zone always is.

Or try and take classes that she is not in, so that even if you have to see her and her
new gal in half your classes each day, the other half a day you get a breather.

Don't hang out with her and her ex after school, if you then just go home and mope.
I know how extremely difficult this is when you are in school together.
You may not have alot of options. But, those that you do, make use of.

In this way you can take care of your own emotional needs
and give yourself a chance to heal.

Thanks Serenity! Yeah that was quite the shocker, haha. I think I'm finally starting to get over it, which is good.

That makes sense. I'm not sure what my schedule is going to be like this year yet, but I do know that about half of the electives I signed up for are the same as hers. So I guess that means, if I get into the electives, half of the time would be with her and half away. So I guess going with your third choice would be good. I want to be there for her if she needs me, we were friends before we were girlfriends, so even when I'm away from her I want her to have that feeling that I'm accessible. I'm not really sure how to do that, but I can try. Thanks for your great advice!

Hello, Atraxotoxin. I wish you well in getting your concerns sorted.

[Atraxotoxin]

Thanks!! =)

[Rhiannonsmoon]

Hope all turns out well for you Atraxotoxin and that you come to full terms with who you are. you can look for a movie called Sappho, I read it is a good movie. I only read about it because when I was studying ancient Greece Sappho was the high priestess of the Island of Lesbos, she was a lover of women and her poetry is legendary and very enjoyable. But apparently there is a movie which uses the name Sappho which is a modern skin flick I think; I've never seen it but when I clicked on it there was a naked female body which popped up and a bio of the movie.