[raini65]

I've made a lot of mistakes in the distant past and the recent past. I told my family when we moved to Florida 7 years ago that I would get 2 jobs to help support us. My husband is disabled and cannot work, has been for about 8-10 years now. So when we moved it was hard to find a job. I did find one and worked there for over 2 years. That wasn't good enough. Got another job making more money but had to travel further. Then in Oct. 2007 I hurt my back and needed surgery. Did that in Dec 2007. Back wasn't feeling any better after surgery but looked for a job anyway. By this time the economy was in the gutter and jobs were hard to come by. Then in Nov 2008 my entire right side went numb. Did not have health insurance and no dr would see me. Finally it got so bad I had to buy my own insurance and get to a dr. In June 2009 went to dr for first time. In july 2009 I was diagnosed with MS. I am trying to get social security but it is a slow and painful process. Not sure if I could actually work 8 hours a day 5 days a week. But anyway what brings me here today is my husband. This morning the water heater died! So of course because I did not do the right thing ever it is my fault the heater broke. Every time anything goes wrong it is my fault because according to him I have never done the right thing or anything for that matter. Needless to say we have 2 great kids who are now 21 and 18 years old. But of course I had nothing to do with that. I am so tired of being blamed for everything. In May of this year I attempted suicide to try to help the family out with some money. But as he sat there and watched me, he must have gotten scared and called 911. So of course they locked me up for a couple of days. And now we've got to pay the hospitals for that. So anyway I'm not sure what to do. Leave the husband(since I don't think he likes me anyway)and the 18 year old and let them lose the house or stay here with them and spend the rest of my life being blamed for everything that goes wrong? Not that I have anywhere to go. I would have to live on the street and be homeless. I feel so stuck and don't know what to do. HELP

[bridgie]

money issues are a big strain on everyone normally and a bit more it seems since this economy problem. keep working on the ssi/ssdi. my friend has ms and it took a year and a half to get accepted. i feel it would also be beneficial to get an individual therapist and a couples therapist. both would be beneficial. i really dont have any more advise but to hang in there dont make and rash decisions and i hope things go a little smoother soon.

[Ygrec23]

Bridgie said:

Originally Posted by bridgie

money issues are a big strain on everyone normally and a bit more it seems since this economy problem.

Bridgie's very right, raini. It's NO individual's fault if they can't make enough money these days. Tell H that he can't blame you for money problems, and you can't blame him. Like your parents or grandparents during the Great Depression. No one would ever think of blaming them for what they went through in 1933 or 1935. And that's what we've got on our hands right now. Keep in mind that in those days they didn't HAVE social security. Yes, you have to go through a lot to get on the SSD rolls. But you WILL get it. Any month now. If you can just hold on for a little while longer, you won't have to self-terminate. Your 18-year old ought to be looking for a job and contributing to expenses, though he or she will have a tough time too. And your H really does need to understand the pressure that everyone is under these days, if they don't have millionaire parents or haven't won the lottery. Take care.

[raini65]

Thanks bridgie and ygrec23 for your kind words. The 18 year old does have a job, thank goodness. I will keep on muddeling thru. It is nice to know there are nice people out there!

[Rhiannonsmoon]

((((((((((((raini))))))))))))

I think your husband is blaming you to protect his own feelings of inadequacy, very normal under the circumstances because he can't work.

It isn't your fault and you know that, working yourself into the ground especially with an MS diagnosis is going to kill you so keep working on the ssdi you deserve to be on that and you deserve to be taken care of.

If you think your hubby doesn't like you, move into another room. I did that for several years before we seperated and divorced but he needed looking after and there was no one else to do it. That way you can have some personal space and not feel so disliked or so close to the dislike. Good luck and have strength you are not alone here,

Rhiannon

Hello, raini65. I do not know why life has to be so hard. When the ultimate is not good enough, something is wrong. MS certainly can be disabling. Will your husband do anything to help you?

What happened in the past may be unfortunate but is not reason for you to be judged for your efforts now.

Maybe NAMI may have some help for you: http://www.nami.org/Template.cfm?Sec...iateFinder.cfm

I wish you well.