[Joannof3]

I have posted before. but,it's been awhile ,..my b/f and I of almost 5 yrs have been on and off so many times ..I moved 3000 miles to be with him and my kids and I have been everywhere but with him..I'm very confused right now because Im not sure how I feel about things,he has called me saying he wants to get back together and I too would love to start over and put the past behind us,,but I feel in order to do that I feel I need to know that he is truly sorry for putting the kids and I through so much and that it will change..lastnight we were talking on the phone and I told him how Im afraid to get hurt again and how my family think Im setting myself up for a big heartache,,he got really mad and said they dont know the whole story and shouldnt blame him because it wasnt all his fault ,,what Im trying to come to grips with is ,,,Am I wrong for feeling I need a apology from him in order to feel we can get past this ? I moved 3000 miles to be with him ..I'm really upset about it but I love him so much or I wouldnt still be here ..If Im wrong in my thinking how can I overcome the hurt that I feel? he never wants to talk about what has happened only to kiss and make up but its not as easy for me because the past is what got me where I am now ,,I dont know, forgive me for this crazy post..I guess I just needed to get it off my chest ,,take care ,hope everyone is happy and doing good..thanks Bee

[seeker1950]

Moving 3000 miles with your children? And this man has hurt you??? What's that about. It sounds as if you are right to be wary at this point!
Seeker

[Joannof3]

hello , thanks Seeker for your response ..I have posted 4 times... a long story but my first post was on 12/10/03 explaining things "wish his mother would butt out". my second was on 6/27/04 "Should I stay or go ?" then 8/13/04 "How do I get over him ?" and then today "Saying I'm sorry ".. just incase you get bored and would like to read something lol ,,,anyways ,Im here because I am confused and need to let it out ,,I would like to say" Thank you to everyone who has responded " This sight is Great !! just to hear another persons opinion helps because sometimes when we are angry or hurt we dont see things clearly ..I have no problem admitting when Im wrong and I do it alot just to keep everyone happy ..take care ,,thank you again Bee

[eskielover]

I would be completely leary of a person like that....moving you & your family requires more that a kiss to make up for what he has done to you & your family. It isn't just you in this case. I would also require more than a "sorry" too....that wouldn't be enough either. If there is any seriousness it getting together on both parts, it would require some serious therapy to make sure everything is brought to the surface. You both need to be completely honest with each other in what you expect out of the relationship...& neither one should be hoping for a possible change in the other side. Of course this is based on my own experience.....but the bottom line is that if there isn't complete honesty.....you will never have a relationship that is worth waisting your time on.

Yes, I am probably cynical after being married for 30 years & finally making the move to end it. What I said above is the basis for my decision that I have made now.

You & your family should be respected.....it doesn't sound like that is the case.

Please take care of you & your family first.....if he fits in then fine....but don't try to force it to happen....& don't just tolerate something.....just isn't worth it in the end.

Debbie

[SeptemberMorn]

Bee, IMO, if your boyfriend doesn't want to talk about what got you in this position, he's avoiding not only the subject but the problems, too. An apology isn't as important as him coming to terms with what happened. Nothing will be straightened out nor changed if this doesn't happen. The fact that he got angry when you mentioned your family being afraid you're setting your self up for hurt again, says to me that he doesn't take ANY responsibility for what happened. There's just too many red flags popping up for me. You've already put you and your kids in harms way. It wouldn't be wise to do it again. Your kids need more stability than that!

Good luck!