[LittleForgetMeNot]

I'm 15, yes young, and was caught up in a long distance relationship for a year and 4 months. It was off and on and I realize now that we were never really compatible, but I was always the sucker for the damaged boy and he was a real cling on. It came to a point, this past September, where everything he did practically infuriated me, but I liked him, or at least I felt safe with him. But then on Saturday I found out he had been cheating on me since August 14th with my last best friend, who I had also stopped talking to in a very long time -- she's had a habit of taking all my boyfriends. She's admitted that she's never liked them, that she only does this to mess with me, but though this has happened three times before with this guy, he refuses to believe.. and treats me like ****.

Now I kind of like him, it's going away as I see what a pathetic fool he is. I mean she's 12. She's insecure, doesn't let him talk to ANY girl. Her intentions are so clear, but he's blind. It's sickening.. She's vulgar, perverted, she's sent naked pictures of herself, yet a master at using her words to manipulate any guy into falling for her.. into making any girl be her friend. I am so tired, of her ********, but she wont leave me alone! It's been three years she's been doing this kind of thing to me, maybe to other girls as well, but primarily it seems to me, and I am sooo tired of it. She won't leave me alone, will make up fake fb accounts to get to the guys I go out with, will get her friends to add me so she can talk to me, get on ppls accounts.

I mean it's just so tiring, I wanted to put the past aside, have a casual relationship with my pathetic cheating ex.. yes I will admit I enjoy watching him make a fool of himself but I'm not making it known, but shee wont allow it. Besides we made a promise to each other that no matter what happened we'd be friends and well he's kinda kept that promise though he's being a bit of a jerk, I mean he's TURNING INTO HER. He acts JUST like her, which is SOOO unlike himself, it's sickening!!

I don't know why it affects me so much, why I get so mad, and jealous. I tell myself I didn't like him. He was skinner than I, yet taller than I was so severely underweight. He was over emotional, sensitive, lacked back bone, vulnerable. He would do anything you told him to. I didn't find him THAT physically attractive and yet.. every night I would dream of him, every moment of everyday I would day dream about him, no matter who I was with I pretended that he was there too, thinking about what it was like when we meet. I might not have been the best gf, as I am battling depression, and anxiety, stress, whatever, but I can't see how this can be from karma at all. I mean my exbff claims it's my karma, but I feel it's just her being a *****face.

I'm sorry, but why the hell is he so blind? Even his friends IN REAL LIFE, liked me more than her, they all said I was better, I was nicer, prettier, and quite a few of them hate him for what he did to me, and I NEVER EVEN MET THEM.

Sorry, this is, the first time I've ever been cheated on in my life, my first time really having serious feelings for someone, having a somewhat serious yet longdistance online relationship and it's just hard to know how to deal with it. I was horrible for a few days, I felt so bad, I considered overdosing on my dad's medication, was so desperate to feel better, for it all to end.. remember i am depressed here. But then I changed around and felt so good about myself, I felt pretty, and smart, and just better than I ever had, and now because my ex is just being a *****face and ignoring me and saying this, which is so unlike him, that he likes me AND her and he wants me to stay single for him while he's with her. Basically either he wants us both, or i'm miss.backupplan.. it just makes me so mad.

I wish I could just.. throw knives at them :l or cans of frozen soda, pumpkins even. Anything hard, to crush them. I can never act upon this cause they live so far away but if there was a way just to do it, I feel like I would.

He goes back to normal when he's not talking to her, when he's at school, but during the evening he wont STOP talking ABOUT her, and he acts just like HER too. It's like he has two personalities. Who I know him as, and who he acts like to please her.

I just need to get over it, though I'm not sure how.. Sorry for the rant and thanks for sticking with me all the way to the end if you've made it this far. I just needed to let it out

[Belle1979]

((((LittleForgetMeNot))))

Rant and vent as much as you need x

[LittleForgetMeNot]

Originally Posted by Belle1979

((((LittleForgetMeNot))))

Rant and vent as much as you need x

thanks

[Emotionally Dead]

I am so sorry.. Well, I will admit that I was in a long-distance relationship for TWO long years... It wasn't just long-distance either, it was cross-country. Plus our ages differed, and everything about us was different. I didn't really find her physically attractive but for some reason I loved her so much that she was beautiful to me. It was sort of the same situation you are going through that I went through. It's tough, and just because you never met the person doesn't mean it doesn't her. I never met her either, and we were getting close to getting to when everything finally fell through. Now I am glad we never met.

After that, I never let that happen again. I made sure if I was going to be in a relationship it was going to be with someone I could physically be with. Being without the person is too hard. You never know what they are doing. You can't touch them, hug them, nothing that you need to do to have a stable relationship. Going through with it for two years, or a year and four months like you, is very rare. You don't find that too often, and it shows how dedicated you are. All I can really tell you though is he isn't the one for you. At that point in time, during that year and four months, he was. Now he just isn't. You have to realize that that isn't what you need in your life. It's hard to give up, but I guarantee you it will be better for you. When I finally ended it I did meet someone in person. Then I found out that that kind of love sucks too.

There is something you should know, though. I'm not no expert on this or on relationships, but I did go through that long period of having a long-distance relationship and had MANY relationships before that and have had many after, I know some things that other people who haven't been through it don't know. I think that you are in love with the idea of him. The idea of having him there with you, feeling him there. However, it may be completely different when he's there. You might fight all the time, have all kinds of problems, and it end quickly. I feel like you were like I was, you just want to get to that point, but I don't think that it will work. I think that if you do get to that point it will just be worse and harder to get over because you will be so disappointed, I think. I'm not telling you to just give up, but he's done too much for you to forgive him. With your dedication, and his lack of it, you deserve A LOT better. I just hope this helps you a little, because you aren't alone. If you ever need to talk I'm here. Good luck.

[Rhiannonsmoon]

((((littleforgetmenot))))

I am so sorry that you are enduring through this, I think a rant is the minimum you are entitled to in this circumstance.

Young hearts are often broken and they take time to heal just as adults hearts do.

I do hope you feel better soon

Morgana

[LittleForgetMeNot]

Originally Posted by Emotionally Dead

I am so sorry.. Well, I will admit that I was in a long-distance relationship for TWO long years... It wasn't just long-distance either, it was cross-country. Plus our ages differed, and everything about us was different. I didn't really find her physically attractive but for some reason I loved her so much that she was beautiful to me. It was sort of the same situation you are going through that I went through. It's tough, and just because you never met the person doesn't mean it doesn't her. I never met her either, and we were getting close to getting to when everything finally fell through. Now I am glad we never met.

After that, I never let that happen again. I made sure if I was going to be in a relationship it was going to be with someone I could physically be with. Being without the person is too hard. You never know what they are doing. You can't touch them, hug them, nothing that you need to do to have a stable relationship. Going through with it for two years, or a year and four months like you, is very rare. You don't find that too often, and it shows how dedicated you are. All I can really tell you though is he isn't the one for you. At that point in time, during that year and four months, he was. Now he just isn't. You have to realize that that isn't what you need in your life. It's hard to give up, but I guarantee you it will be better for you. When I finally ended it I did meet someone in person. Then I found out that that kind of love sucks too.

There is something you should know, though. I'm not no expert on this or on relationships, but I did go through that long period of having a long-distance relationship and had MANY relationships before that and have had many after, I know some things that other people who haven't been through it don't know. I think that you are in love with the idea of him. The idea of having him there with you, feeling him there. However, it may be completely different when he's there. You might fight all the time, have all kinds of problems, and it end quickly. I feel like you were like I was, you just want to get to that point, but I don't think that it will work. I think that if you do get to that point it will just be worse and harder to get over because you will be so disappointed, I think. I'm not telling you to just give up, but he's done too much for you to forgive him. With your dedication, and his lack of it, you deserve A LOT better. I just hope this helps you a little, because you aren't alone. If you ever need to talk I'm here. Good luck.

Thanks so much! It probably was just he idea of who he was, and I'm sure we would never had been compatible in real life. I mean, his humour and mine were polar opposites. Sure we had a few things in common but the basics of our personality.. it just wasn't.. The fact that he could change his mind so easily, so easily in love with any girl who said hi, made me feel really worthless to him, and he spent all that time trying to convince me it wasn't like that.. only to find out it really WAS like that. I know, my brain knows, that I'm better off without him, it's just getting my heart to realize that too.

[Belle1979]

The heart takes a little longer to heal and to realise the truth than the head xx you will be fine

[LittleForgetMeNot]

Originally Posted by Belle1979

The heart takes a little longer to heal and to realise the truth than the head xx you will be fine

i think the heart and brain should just come to a good agreement that when the mind says enough, it's enough and there is no more pain! That would make life SOOO much easier

[Belle1979]

It all comes back to rational thought and then emotions. The rational thoughts know WHAT is best.. but the emotions are harded to convince!
I do understand. My emotional thoughts and feelings rule my life most of the time.
Have a look at the coping with emotions threads.. there are some good tips and tricks there to get you through the worst of it.
Am remember no one should be able to control your emotions (easier said than done). No one should be able to make you feel something that you wish not to - but we are human and well... nice people get hurt

[Emotionally Dead]

Originally Posted by LittleForgetMeNot

Thanks so much! It probably was just he idea of who he was, and I'm sure we would never had been compatible in real life. I mean, his humour and mine were polar opposites. Sure we had a few things in common but the basics of our personality.. it just wasn't.. The fact that he could change his mind so easily, so easily in love with any girl who said hi, made me feel really worthless to him, and he spent all that time trying to convince me it wasn't like that.. only to find out it really WAS like that. I know, my brain knows, that I'm better off without him, it's just getting my heart to realize that too.

You're going to meet someone who is going to sweep you off your feet and make you forget all about him. Trust me. As for the loving any girl he meets thing, well that is just a stage. Believe it or not I went through that for a while too... Haha. I don't normally admit it but I did have a stage where any girl that came into my life was "the one". I'm completely different now, but I know that pretty much every guy goes through that stage at some point in his life. Once you are with someone else who really loves you for who you are and doesn't cheat on you like this I think you'll realize how much better off you are now, and yes your heart will realize it too . The pain you feel now would be ten times worse if you stayed with him and all of this kept happening. It'll be okay, and you seem a little better today so I hope everything goes great for you.

[LittleForgetMeNot]

Originally Posted by Belle1979

It all comes back to rational thought and then emotions. The rational thoughts know WHAT is best.. but the emotions are harded to convince!
I do understand. My emotional thoughts and feelings rule my life most of the time.
Have a look at the coping with emotions threads.. there are some good tips and tricks there to get you through the worst of it.
Am remember no one should be able to control your emotions (easier said than done). No one should be able to make you feel something that you wish not to - but we are human and well... nice people get hurt

Yeah, my dad tells me this all the time. When I burst out into tears last week he kept telling me that no one anywhere should be able to do this, should have that control over me, because I'm the only one who lets them do that, and I shouldn't let them have that control. It is going away now, but it took more convincing.

Originally Posted by Emotionally Dead

You're going to meet someone who is going to sweep you off your feet and make you forget all about him. Trust me. As for the loving any girl he meets thing, well that is just a stage. Believe it or not I went through that for a while too... Haha. I don't normally admit it but I did have a stage where any girl that came into my life was "the one". I'm completely different now, but I know that pretty much every guy goes through that stage at some point in his life. Once you are with someone else who really loves you for who you are and doesn't cheat on you like this I think you'll realize how much better off you are now, and yes your heart will realize it too . The pain you feel now would be ten times worse if you stayed with him and all of this kept happening. It'll be okay, and you seem a little better today so I hope everything goes great for you.

Oh I do agree that I will! I have another long distance friend, but one who is a guy and gay so there will never be any tension or anything as far as relationships or backstabbing, and he is just the best friend ever! He supports me and joins me when I go off into celebrity crush fangirl mode and pushes me to go out with guys in real life. He knows the whole situation and he reminds me that I'm gonna become a great person when I get older and I'll have real guys who love me and it'll be better than any long distance boyfriend. What's great about this friend is that in about a year or so, not too sure, he's coming to my city for university. He was also a friend of my exbf and my ex best friend but I think I got the better end of the deal here, lol. I got rid of a bad boyfriend, a bad friend and gained the bestest friend anyone could ever have!

I do feel a lot better as well. It was hard to get there though as I was being stupid and disobeying my friend's and Dad's wishes by talking to that ex, and eventually, my exs, well she broke up with him momentarily, and well HE thought it was my fault, and threatened to kill me and EVERYTHING. My Dad walked by and seen the curses on the screen and forced me to show him, and he brought a whole new light onto this situation, where if this kid threatens to murder me TWICE (which he did), and he has my name and address, well I could go right ahead and call the cops on him if I wanted. My Dad was going to too, and that brought out a new conversation, a very honest everything comes out conversation, where now nothing has been left out. My Dad could be a therapist, if he wanted to he studied psychology, and the hours we spent talking about this, really helped. It also made me realize that I have more control over the situation, and myself, than I realized. I didn't need to keep talking to him even though there was a promise and though my heart wanted to, my mind as said before, does know best.

Plus yesterday was my brother's birthday party and I got to see my family, I played video games with my brother, and today we're going out for "thanksgiving" dinner with said family, and while I'm having all this fun with my family enjoying the beautiful day that once past me by I think that, if I had still been with him, I wouldn't have enjoyed myself this much. I probably wouldn't have gone out at all. I would be stuck inside, in front of my computer, hurting over pixelated text. You know, I wouldn't have danced with my 4 year old cousins on the stage or ran around with my camera snapping pictures. I would be like them, still trapped in their world, in their minds, missing the days, isolating themselves away from the people who love them, their friends.. their still diseased, so to speak, where all this hurt, cured me.

It also helps that I had this site to let out all left over anger