[compgeni]

My issue with relationships...
I've never had one. I've never even really had girl-friends. I can count on one hand how many women (not including my mom and her friends) I've HUGGED. I'm not even sure I know how to hug with passion or whatnot.

I'm a virgin. I've never really been on a date. I've never connected with a woman. I dont know why. I'm starting to feel like I'm missing something big in my life. I....I guess I long for feminine presence. This isn't about sex. Well, sure that IS on the to-do list but it's not my main focus.

Socially...
I dont really have a "social circle" I've got a couple friends that I've known for YEARS, since I was small. They all pretty much have the same issues with women as I do less one who just got married.

I dont really feel that heart pounding anxiousness very much. I can and do smile and say hi to people as I pass them on the street. I can even shake their hand occasionally. However, I have a hard time making friends. I feel like I have nothing to really say to them. I can talk with them about them. Ask them what they do, if they have kids, how they like their work..etc. But it's like...... I dont know... Like I need to be different. I go though "OK, what do I say now" times. It's like I need to be more interesting. More knowledgeable. Have more experiences. Have more hobbies. Have more friends. If I could somehow download the sum knowledge of the universe in my head, I would do fine. These will help me talk about things. What do people talk about. I dont even like facebook becouse I have nothing to put on there. Who cares what I ate for breakfast?

Sometimes I feel braindead. Like I dont really have the words. But I do have a feeling or a thought or something...

I feel like I need to be in charge, or 100% knowledgeable to really be me otherwise I'm quiet or so soft and maybe..timid?

[Belle1979]

You don't sound too timid You managed to write what you are feeling and thinking and that's a brave move.

I don't have a large cirlce of close friends and I don't have much to say to people that I do talk too... yep no on really cares what I had for breakfast either but it's a great way to start a conversation... but to me sounds like you don't have any issues with the small talk.

Joining a group or club is a great way to get you out and about, meeting different people that may or may not have similar interests to you (if its a group that you are interested in then most of the people there will share something in common with you).

Is there any club or groups that you can join?

Finding someone to share your life with is hard (even for those who have been in relationships)... you never know what the future holds so just go with the flow and usually the world works in your favour

If all else fails.. online dating?

Oh and most people like to talk about themselves... so half the battle is won if you can talk about their interests.

[User42]

I'm in exactly the same situation compgeni, although I'm only 25, just a couple of years behind. I can talk to girls. My efforts to attract a partner have resulted in me accumulating many female friends while I was at university, just no girlfriend.

One girl in particular I really liked said "you're not like a guy because I can talk to you". It's a nice, well-intetioned complement but rather emasculating. At work, another girl was pissed off about something her boyfriend did one day and was saying "argh, MEN, all a bunch of dickheads, I hate them!" and when I looked up she said to me "oh, not you, you don't count". I guess she meant I'm a nice guy, but really felt like she meant I'm not a guy.

It's really sad when I look up people on social networking sites I knew from school and university and see they're almost all in a relationship with someone, usually living with them, and many are married. Especially if it's a girl I once had a crush on.

I tried internet dating, almost all women ignore my initial email, some reply but it's only a rejection. I think it might be because I'm a bit of a geek and not what they're looking for. They seem to like outgoing guys with lots of interests. You should try it to see if you have any more luck than I did. Though, if you dont, remember you're not the only one -- don't let it get to you. I recommend plentyoffish.com because it's free for both to communcate, as opposed to some sites where you have to pay to send emails and the girl also has to pay to read them.

[lotusflames]

i know this is going to sound cliche but if you dont love yourself then you won't find someone to love you either! And, the more you look the less likely you are to find the right person.

things happen when you least expect it, i dont know why they just do.