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#1
Oct 29, 2010, 09:39 PM
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Jesse came online (my ex) meaning he didn't block me like last time. I could talk to him right now if i wanted, tell him the truth to the lies he thinks are real.. but I don't want to but I'm trembling so bad, I can't stop >_<'
I might end up talking to him just to make the shaking stop.. but I can't do thatt and i can't make myself delete him now that i know he hasn't blocked me.. ugghhh hate thisss
__________________
~ to alter your fate, you must be brave and willing to try something new ~
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#2
Oct 30, 2010, 05:27 AM
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Don't delete him if thats not what you want to do right now... I regret deleting Louis from my FB.. it ended a connection that I wish was still there.. but in saying that, I would be in a worse head space about it now than I am, if I hadn't removed him. Just knowing that he was online and not popping up for chat hurt more.
Hard knowing he is online and that you want to tell him that you know the truth.. to show him that you are not going to stand for the lies and that you are angry. Will it make any difference if you didn't say what you want to? Not to him and it will only make you more upset (my opinion)... Give it time little one and it will get better I promise!
__________________
 How I describe myself: Honest, caring, trustworthy, reliable and generous.
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#3
Oct 30, 2010, 02:13 PM
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Well I broke and I ended up telling him that his friend lied about me and him getting together, and I tried to end the conversation right there by saying I had nothing more to say and that was it, etc. But he kept responding and responding though I had expected him to ignore me and we ended up talking for about 4 hours.
__________________
~ to alter your fate, you must be brave and willing to try something new ~
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#4
Oct 30, 2010, 07:02 PM
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How did you feel afterwards?
I hope that by talking to him it has helped but he can't be the one to help you through this... no matter what he says you know the truth xx
__________________
How I describe myself: Honest, caring, trustworthy, reliable and generous.
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#5
Oct 30, 2010, 07:21 PM
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I felt nothing really. I felt the same as before he came online. It didn't help much for I didn't care, the trembles went away though and I kinda just became unemotional and unaffected when he spoke to me about her. He complained that she lied a lot and told me things I had already been through and I was just bored, rolling my eyes, as he knew all these things from what I told him but now he's complaining about it like it was new.
Just now he came back online and guess what? What I knew what was gonna happen was true! She left him, and now he's all heart broken and all I feel is that self-satisfactory feeling of "I told you so" though I'm not showing it.
__________________
~ to alter your fate, you must be brave and willing to try something new ~
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#6
Oct 30, 2010, 09:06 PM
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"i told you so" feels good
__________________
How I describe myself: Honest, caring, trustworthy, reliable and generous.
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#7
Oct 30, 2010, 10:24 PM
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haha, it really does!!
__________________
~ to alter your fate, you must be brave and willing to try something new ~
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#8
Oct 30, 2010, 10:44 PM
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Hello LittleForgetMeNot, nice to see you again.
I've been in similar situations many times, and to be honest the best way to go about it is to seize all communication with him. That's what helped me. I'd even have the trembling feeling when I thought she was calling me or coming on Myspace or what have you, but what got me through it was completely ignoring her (although there have been more than one). You are young and it will get easier with time. You will get used to long relationships, heartbreaking break-ups, and all of that kinda thing. Just a part of life. The bad thing is though, by starting this communication up again you might be inclined to start a relationship again even though I am sure you realize it's not the best thing for you. He's going to sit there and try to say how heartbroken he is over here and all that blah blah blah and try to get you back. Looks like he's just using you to get over her, and you don't want that so be careful. Best wishes 
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#9
Oct 30, 2010, 10:57 PM
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i know, but i dont feel like i should start up anything again. i dont want to. and im at peace right now with how things are. he did say yesterday that if rachel left him just then he WOULD try to get me back though he was confident that she would never leave him. I know how he is, and I know who he is even more now that this has all happened. he's not someone who i would get mixed up with romantically again. it was a hard month and it would be all for waste if i did.
i feel i have more confidence in myself to say no, im not to feel guilted by his words if he were to ever try to get me back and my resistance made him sad. he made me sad by this, and even though im not one to hold grudges, i wont forget what he did, and how selfish he is acting even now.
__________________
~ to alter your fate, you must be brave and willing to try something new ~
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#10
Oct 30, 2010, 11:05 PM
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Quote:
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#11
Oct 31, 2010, 12:33 AM
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thanks! he was more interested in making rachel feel guilty to take him back than me so i haven't been worried so far.
__________________
~ to alter your fate, you must be brave and willing to try something new ~
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#12
Oct 31, 2010, 01:54 AM
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wow okay, something else happened. he came back again and said they were back together and then went on ACTING just like her. i started feeling sick and just exploded on him in anger. honestly i dont know what i was thinking before. i reblocked and deleted. he's such a selfish ********ter i swear to god.
__________________
~ to alter your fate, you must be brave and willing to try something new ~
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#13
Oct 31, 2010, 01:56 AM
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Good for you sweetness.. he needed to be blocked and deleted!
Protect yourself and look after yourself before anyone else!
__________________
How I describe myself: Honest, caring, trustworthy, reliable and generous.
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#14
Oct 31, 2010, 02:55 AM
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he did! i really dislike sometimes, how i think i can be alright with something. how i can forgive someone so easily, wanting to give them the benefit of the doubt. I went straight back to my old mentality when he said they had broken up. I viewed him as the victim and played rescue. after everything i should have known he didn't deserve to be rescued at all!
it kind of sucks though, to realize that someone who has hurt you doesn't care that they did. they know full well what they did and what they were doing, but that doesn't matter. when i got mad i started firing off a lot of words i hoped would hurt him, but he just retaliated, and said words she used to as well, which got me even more angry. I just hate how he is. he responds to me like he misses me and says that im his friend, but when it comes down to it right away he'll snap up and call me an emo fag and say "ooh rachel treats me better than you ever did" and "i'm happier than i ever was with youu", "why do you always doubt everythingg" "why do you always act like EEVVERYYONNE is out to get you, you're not that important", blah blah blah. it's not that these words hurt, it's that they make me angry, and i feel helpless cause i know everything i could say back would bounce off him cause he has rachel and when in a relationship he is invincible to everyone BUT the girl he's with. feeling helpless is my most hated emotion.
__________________
~ to alter your fate, you must be brave and willing to try something new ~
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#15
Oct 31, 2010, 05:41 AM
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((((littleforgetmenot))))
I hate that feeling too. I trully hope that his words didn't hurt you (have a sneaking feeling they did just a little). You are a better person and deserve a happy life. I am so sorry that he seems to be so immature and is calling you names. I too don't understand how people can hurt others so easily 
__________________
How I describe myself: Honest, caring, trustworthy, reliable and generous.
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#16
Oct 31, 2010, 07:22 AM
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Well, I guess they did but instead of sad I just got really angry. I cannot deny that I was completely invincible to what he had to say, especially when he was comparing Rachel to me. I couldn't sleep cause I couldn't calm down so I went on my Dad's newspaper delivery route with him all night, and I spoke to a friend of mine who is like the king of distraction.
I feel okay now, kinda horrible but I think that's because I'm just really tired ^^;
__________________
~ to alter your fate, you must be brave and willing to try something new ~
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