Can't talk to people!

I have this problem. I can't talk to people the way I want to! I mean I try to tell them things and it comes out all wrong and I think I offend people when I do talk. It's just crazy. Maybe I'll become a hermit or something. I don't know.

I am often misunderstood also, Lex. I have very poor social skills and I somehow come off as being *****y (Can I say that here?) and I wasn't feeling at all that way.
I don't know what to tell you since I'm struggling with it myself but I'm pretty sure becoming a hermit isn't the answer.
I know it's frustrating and if you figure out the answer to this then you can help me with it?

Try talking to people outloud as if they were there....Perhaps that may sound ridicoulous and yet it helps me to get out my frustrations and have a good hearty laugh. It also helps get the words out right. SOmetimes it is easier to plan out how the conversation is going to go then to go in without any thoughts. There are books I am sure to help. You are not that specific in what you wrote in like is it a social situation? Does someone ask your opinion on something and you offend them? Or is it in casual conversation? Sometimes it may be best just not to say anything too....I hav ethe same problems....

I think I talk too much. Recently, someone told me something in confidence and without thinking, I mentioned it to a family member. I'm so bad at keeping confidentiality. I'm going to work on it because I really want to have friends.

I guess I'm going to have to go into therapy again because I can't get friends.

Lexi, my whole reason for volunteering is to work on relearning social skills. Head trauma (along with body trauma) does a number on ya.

TC my friend

I understand totally where you are coming from.

I have a friend who has a condition called Asperger's Syndrome which is related to autism. The Dr. who diagnosed him described it as a Social Learning Disorder. People with Asperger's have trouble interpreting social cues. For example in a conversation they may start talking about something completely unrelated to what others are discussing. My friend has often gotten into trouble also because he may blurt out whatever he is thinking without considering whether it is appropriate to say it in a given situation. There are other symptoms and people who have the condition can be helped by social skills training and may take antidepressant or antianxiety meds ObviousIy I don't know if this is the problem you have I would urge you to consult a psychiatrist

Lex,

Talk to us. This is a good place to work things out without the embarrassment of 3d.

Sometimes it is the actual proximity of a person which spooks us and then we come out with inappropriate remarks. I do it often, and people can be quite unforgiving.

I've noticed that regular people, what I might call 'urbane' people, have quite a limited range of polite and appropriate responses and they stick with them. It's like a list of suitable remarks for different social situations. Frankly, I find it very dull, but that's how things seem to work.

Being urbane is a highly effective way of being accepted in society. I've been looking at old reruns of Seinfeld, and the comedy comes out of the terrible messes that George and Elaine get themselves into through inappropriate remarks, and the paranoia they suffer as a consequence. They are bright people, maybe TOO bright.

Good thoughts, M