Is this a friend? Hurting on many levels

I have been estranged from my family since July. This is heartbreaking for me and I have been trying to find coping mechanisms to deal with the pain.

I wrote a letter to my father and he contacted me. My friend knew I had written to him, knows about the family issues and my pain. She knew my father and I were playing tag with messages but planning to meet. She knew the subjects that would probably be discussed. She knew is was a huge deal to me and that I was terrified.

I got a call from her this morning. She asked me if I wanted to go see a movie, a comedy we had discussed seeing when it got released into the theaters.

She didn't know that I connected with my father and saw him yesterday. I said I wasn't up for a comedy today because it would be a waste of an opportunity to laugh because of how I was feeling. She kept saying "come on" and finally I said "I saw Dad yesterday and am very down. It would be a waste for me to see a comedy today."

She continued to say "oh come on, it will make you feel better." This went on for a few iterations, and I was starting to get pissed off. Finally, I told her no.

What is so hurtful is that she never said "oh, how did it go?" or "what did he say?" or "what happened?" Nor did she ask if I wanted to talk about it. Nothing. She just wanted to see the movie. She didn't even acknowledge me.

It would be analogous to waiting for a diagnosis for a disease and your friend not asking what the outcome was. Or like meeting a private investigator who is going to let you know if your spouse is cheating on you and your friend not asking what happened (I know, that's a weird analogy).

Frankly, I think she's angry that I wouldn't go to the movie with her.

We have been "friends" for 15 years, but I have never met one member of her family. She has met and been included in my family gatherings.

I just can't believe she didn't even ask me how it went or whether I was ok or anything.

On top of the meeting with my father yesterday, which was extremely painful and for which I cannot bear nor can I figure out a way to resolve, my friend just disses me. I know this sounds so trivial and it is compared to my family situation. But I needed to write it down and share with someone.

perhaps getting together would have been her opportunity to talk to you about how you are and how things went with your father. and yes she probably felt a little hurt that you didnt want to go. sounds as though that was her way of trying to help, perhaps going and watching a silly movie with a good friend would have helped. take your mind off of things and be able to talk to a good friend. she probably feels just as dissed. and for having a friend for 15 years isnt something i would give up too easily.