[silentwhisper]

Mom always put me in the middle: there were things I was not suppose to tell my grandma, or maybe her current lover, or whoever else. My grandma was the same way: I will give you this but don't let your Mom know or...Now hubby and eldest son are being the same way: Don't tell dad where I went...Don't let son know but I read this note from a girl in his room... Noone hears when I say don't put me in that position. Do they really not care about me? I am crumbling beneath the stress.

[Miracle1986]

(((silentwhisper)))

[LookingforCalm]

I'm sorry. I wish I knew what to say to make you feel better. The only advice I can give is to set your boundaries and stick with them. If you don't want to be in the middle, keep telling them that.

[jenkins09]

They have poor boundaries, so that is why they continue to do this to you. I dont know what you will do, but if it were me I would say "no" when they ask you to keep secrets or relay messages. Simply say that is your work, not mine. The stress it puts on you isnt worth it, and your not being a bad daughter, etc for stopping this behavior. Be good to yourself.

[Rhiannonsmoon]

Just say what you used to say "I DO NOT WANT TO KNOW!"

Sneaks never do well silent, they will always drop the goods when someone is looking or listening and prove themselves to be liars and sneaks, and when your son finds out how much will he trust his father then? I think that is one of the most reprehensible things his father could do snoop in his sons room...I'd however be inclined to tell your son, and if hubby blasts you just tell him "I told you not to tell me that"

[silentwhisper]

i was seriously considering telling him something like you need to be careful about where you leave your notes...or something like that