Everything was great then suddenly...

Hi. Just wanting some opinions/advice... Sorry it's long, but I'd love any replies!
My boyfriend of about 4 months just had a "breakdown" of some sort... We normally talk everyday either by calling or texting. Yesterday he started acting strange. He didn't talk to me much at all, and actually texted me saying sorry he hasn't been talking much, he's just been in a weird mood. So I said ok, and went about the day. Later that night he said he would call me and he never did, so I asked if everything was ok and he said hold on. so I did, and ended up falling asleep. He called me a couple hours later and told me he has been talking to his mom for the past 4 or 5 hours about his life. He broke down saying he didnt know if becoming a nurse was what he wanted to do, and he feels like hes going in circles with his school. Just a couple of weeks ago I asked him if that was really what he enjoyed and saw himself doing for the rest of his life and he confidently said yes. I asked him why he lied, and he said he guesses he just had a mask on.
He said he wasn't just thinking about his school, it was his whole life, so I asked if he felt the same way about our relationship as he did his job (wearing a mask thing) and he said kinda. I just started falling in love with him, and I was pretty sure he felt the same, so I broke down when he said this. Just 2 days earlier, we had spent the weekend together and had tons of fun, and he went on and on on Sunday evening about how much fun he had and how it was a perfect weekend, how he's so glad he has me, and he loves spending time with me like this, etc. On the phone, he told me that he didnt know if he knew what love was, and he felt he just got caught up in his emotions with me and that he needed some time to think.
So I guess what I'm confused about is, how can he go from saying he loves me, spending time with me, and saying how perfect things are, and actually seeming like he means it (I've always believed every word he's said...he's never given me a reason not to), to all of a sudden needing a "break" or whatever you want to call it. He said he just needed some time to think, and I'm not going to let him go that easily, so I said I will give him time, he just shouldn't expect me to wait for him for months or anything, and he said he wouldn't. Everything was literally so great until now? Everyone always said how great we were together and how cute we were, and he would tell me how happy he was that we found each other...
Does anyone know how it's possible to go from everything's amazing, to everything fell apart in a matter of a night? And how long should I wait for him to think through everything?

Hello paperheart,

Welcome to pc. Your bf could have any one of a number of things happening. His actual response sounds very much like depression, which can hit at any moment and ruin things in a matter of moments or hours.

There are different types of depression so only a doctor can name it and diagnose it. But honestly saying "I'm not letting him go that easily" is not going to be helpful at all if he's feeling overwhelmed by everything in his life. He may have been trying to do everything everyone else wants and expects of him; what he really wants for himself is more important if he is going to get well.

I understand your sadness and pain too, but if you are together and the only thing that is bothering you is his state or condition then I really hope you can put that first. He is in a crisis and he needs support and friendship. As you support him, you can depend on us to support you and help you through this.

Rhiannon