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#1
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Every once in a while I miss Jesse a little. Not so much that it hurts anymore, but it's that uncomfortable missing feeling, just before heart ache. But I'm not going to let myself find him again. It's too soon and as I've already witnessed it's not going to do or change anything. All it will do is make me upset with myself.
So I've promised that I'm not going to go looking for him or his fb or his msn, for a whole year since the last time I spoke to him (Halloween). If I still feel the same about missing him or wonder what he's up to by that time, I'll let myself go see. If I don't care to find him again then I wont. I don't even know if it's a good thing to do, but it's a whole year of NOT seeing him. For Rachel, I'll never get back in contact with her, but.. I dunno. It's already been a month since the breakup, and in about 5 days it'll be their three month anniversary. I feel fine about it, a little uncomfortable missing but that's all. By Halloween next year there is a high chance I won't even care at all to find him, but even if I'm curious I'll be completely healed and protected against anything he might throw at me. I dunno, this just gives me a "goal" to work for I guess. A rule not to break. |
![]() Belle1979
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#2
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((((((((Littleforgetmenot))))))))
Again you show the wisdom beyond your years....hold onto this because it will guide you sagely and safely through your life....and I feel a comforting feeling knowing that though you are sensible and wise you will allow yourself to love again in the future but not allow yourself to be used, damaged or hurt. I would be so proud to have you as a daughter, Love to you, Rhiannon
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![]() Peace, the deep imperturbable peace is right there within you, quieten the mind and slow the heart and breathe...breathe in the perfume of the peace rose and allow it to spread throughout your mind body and senses...it can only benefit you and those you care about...I care about you |
#3
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Thank you
![]() Maybe I'm living in a fairytale though? People say that movies and books aren't a true reflection on how life really is, and I know it's not as easy as they make it out to be, but I'd like to hope that at some point in everyone's life they get to experience that kind of magic at least for a moment. |
#4
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The magic does happen.
I have had it happen twice - just haven't had the "happily ever after" part yet xx
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![]() ![]() How I describe myself: Honest, caring, trustworthy, reliable and generous.
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#5
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Quote:
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#6
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and you deserve a guy that will treat you like a princess and swept you off your feet xx It will happen.. many many times over I just know it
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__________________
![]() ![]() How I describe myself: Honest, caring, trustworthy, reliable and generous.
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![]() LittleForgetMeNot
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#7
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![]() I just have to make it through this year first without going back on my word! I keep feeling like it's been since forever I had spoken to him last but it was only a little over a week. Maybe it's only like that because our conversations were so short and we only spoke two days before I got fed up? |
#8
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I broke my promise
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#9
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try making it a goal rather than a promise. because we shoudlnt make promises we arent sure we can keep. and that was such a tough promise. but goals can be reset. say to make a goal to go one week then maybe one month. each little goal willl give you strength to reach the longer term goal.
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How I long to be up rather than down, the eternal sorrow that I only escape for short periods. This must be how Persephone felt. "Sleep. Those little slices of Death. How I loathe them." Edgar Allan Poe Loving yourself must come first from there comes love for everything else. |
#10
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I do have a habit of putting myself up for giant promises.. Luckily however I didn't add them or anything.. it was just sparked by Rachel readding me pretending to be a different person. It triggered a lot of emotion I had pushed back.. She threw a rock and shattered one of my glass walls I guess you could say. It's been especially hard since my friend has been much too busy lately to distract me..
I'll try thinking more goal oriented than promises. I'll have to reblock them on fb.. but they wont let me do that for a whole two days. I guess I'll just try.. 48 hours.. I dunno how well I can do on that.. this day has been based on a lot of idle planning to get back in touch. |
#11
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I made it the 48 hours and they're now blocked once again. I'm limiting my time on msn and facebook to keep the tempation away and it's been working. Now, if I can make it to the very last day of November (which would be roughly the one mark month from the last time I spoke to Jesse) I'll be very proud of myself.
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#12
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![]() LittleForgetMeNot
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#13
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I hope we can both do this!!
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