bipolar and relationships

My illness seems to cause me such low self esteem in all my relationships, family, fiance', coworkers,friends, or ppl in general. I am a serious codependent and find that since I have a mental illness while others dont that ,I have caused a problem again. People find me to be a real pushover have told me this all my life. But I dont know how to react when I get angry without getting someone upset so I hold it in. I have worked very hard at changing with books, therapy, medication, and am active with alanon. I wish I could be a normal person so bad.

Thanks and God Bless,
Rainwater

I know what you mean. It sounds like you are hurting right now. I am struggling with the same thing & also dealing with it with my s/o, Mr. Crazy. It sounds like you are working really hard at improving yourself, though. Kudos for that! Something I have been doing that helps me a little is saying something positive to someone else every day. It might not be a cure all, but it helps a little bit.

I think that saying positive things to ppl is a good idea for me to try also. In the moment what I feel about others is generally jealousy I really need to get over it and live with myself or not.