[therealme]

my story starts about 5 months ago, i left my wife and 4 kids .and started a ralationship with a woman that i thought i was going to be with for years! (stupid me) i was happy for the first few weeks then she started to act off with me, i just put it down to me being allways around.
then out of the blue she told me to get lost!! i was hurt and confused,
i went to the only person that was always there for me, my ex wife ( i know i was the one who left her ) she helped me so much for a week we were talking and spending time together but i was weak and when this other woman asked me back i ran back to her, not thinking what my ex wife was feeling.

my ex wife didnt take it to well she tried to take her own life ...
and even then i didnt think what she must of been going through .
untill a couple weeks later when the other woman that i was seeing once again told me to get lost ( this time by text ) i lost ot big time, that is when i tried to end it all with pain killers. i was (according to the doc) 515 minutes away from total system shut down.
when i came around in the hospital my brother and my ex wife were there at my bed side .
i was confused why she would be there for me again when i had been so uncaring towords her.
but now she is here trying to help me with my depression and she wants us to get back together , but i cant get back together with her as i cant forgive myself for leaving her in the first place.

[dottie]

Hi. Have you both tried marriage counseling? It is a wonderful experience. Believe me!!!!!!

~Dottie

[therealme]

we havent im not sure i can do that as i find it hard to talk to people . it took me all my courage to write my story on here.

i believe that i'd try to get some therapy. you and your family are in tremendous pain and getting some outside professional help would help. it is admirable that your wife is standing by you, please remember that she also needs help and would benefit from having someone to talk to. you've got a tough road right now, but hard work and committment will pull you through it. xoxox pat

[JustBen]

I agree with dottie and fayerody. Some counseling could really help. I know it's hard, but it's worth it.

[SilkySpeed7]

Love is bizarre. Isn't it weird how we can do such hurt those we care most about numerous times and still they are willing to still love us and take us in with open arms? I really feel for you and know what you are going through. Your wife apparently cares for you a great deal. You jsut have to ask yourself how much you care for her. You are smart enough to know that you can't go jumping back and forth because you don't want to hurt her. Well, don't. Stay with her or don't. There is love there, it sounds like. You just have to work through it. Sometimes we do things that make no sense that we dont want to forgive oursleves for but think of it this way..............if you wouldn't have left her in the first place would you feel this strongly about her now or vise versa? Sometimes we don't appreciate something until its gone. Sometimes the wrong thing turns into the best thing. If it is for the greater good, there is nothing to be forgiven about. If it makes your relationship stronger than it was needed. Go with your heart. Life is too short to be miserable.

[therealme]

thank you all for your understanding, im not a strong man i have found that out , over the last few months . but i am willing to try anything to sort my mess out thanx again to you ALL.

[Estee1]

She sounds like a real forgiving lady. Forgive yourself, but also make steps to ensure that you are getting proper help so that you don't have to go through this pain again. Hang in there.