[kimmydawn]

Her first serious. She's 18 in November. He's 22 and just received a general discharge from the army due to a pretty bad leg injury. she's known him for years (his grandparents live right down the street). she's loved him for about a year.

well, since he got out of the army, he's come up here to see his dad. they've seen each other almost every nite and he's found a job and decided to move up here and asked daughter to be exclusive.

daugher said, "mom, you're so psychic! you said that when i did meet someone, it would be someone that wasn't from my school (she's everyone's "bud" there), and that he would be about 5 yrs older than me." yeah, i was right and now i'm nervous! LOLOLOL.

emotionally, though, they're about on the same wavelength...they really are. most young men that age are emotionally young. daughter is mature for her age, soooo.

i've talked to her already about not doing something she'll regret the next day...that i know how "the moment" can take over, etc. she said she wouldn't. should i go ahead and talk to her about the pill now and tell her to come to me if she's considering? should i wait to see if they stay together for a bit so i don't insult her? i don't know!

my oldest waited for marriage so it wasn't an issue. she made it plain, so we didn't have to have "the birth control talk". my youngest believes in waiting for a very special someone who you're committed to. i could see that happening fast here.

advice?

thanks!

kd

[Nerak]

Kimmy I do not have kids but I do remember sitting down with my Mom and talking about birth control. It actually was a great bonding experience. I to like your 18 year old was waiting for that certian someone and my mom although would rather that I would wait for marraige was ok with my decision. I so appreciated her taking the time and for understanding where I was cominf from - and to this day spending that time with her is one of my fondest memories.

[kimmydawn]

(((((((((((((((((((((karen))))))))))))))))))))))))) thank you.

the little man goes to grandma's tomorrow. we'll have GOOD talking/bonding time then. i don't want distractions. i will talk about how i don't want to insult, however i want it out there that if she feels she's leaning that way to please tell me so that we can get to the dr. of course, i'll say alot more than that.

thanks karen! thanks for letting me know what a wonderful experience it was for you.

kd

[seeker1950]

Kimmy,
I think it's wonderful that you have this close relationship with your daughter and can talk about this with her. I encourage you to do so.
My daughter, at that age, apparently engaged in sexual activity, without my knowledge. She only mentioned it offhandedly to me much later when married and twin boys! I suspect she obtained birth control pills without my knowledge.
Seeker

[dogtanian]

good for her! and good for you too! i think you should have "the chat" merely because it'll have to happen at some stage, probably, and it's better too early than too late, i guess. imagine what's the worst that could happen if you talk to her early, and the worst that could happen if you leave it until some other day. good on both of you

It does sound like you have an awesome relationship with your daughter.
With AIDS going around it's absolutely essential to talk very seriously with her about birth control. Never too early for that.
You won't insult her. She'll know that you care. If she does get insulted-she'll get over it.
(((((((KimmyDawn))))))

[kimmydawn]

thank you so much, y'all! i'm waiting until after homecoming dance tonite (she's going with the girls )

yep, we have to have "the second talk".

thanks again!

kd

by all means have the talk and offer your support. things have changed a lot since we were teens. i'm glad you can share and discuss this. xoxo pat

[kimmydawn]

thank you, ((((((((((((pat))))))))))))))

baby is gone today and we've already had it. we're on the same page. i asked her to be honest and wait for the moment to get ahold of her until she's protected. lol. she agreed. we also discussed protection from disease.

she made it clear that it wasn't in the immediate future and she would let me know.

thanks so much!

kd

[SpazKatt]

Wonderful Kimmy! My mom had been talking to me about sex since the end of middle school. I'd be like MooooM! sex is gross, then she'd be like you know there are kids having sex your age. Anyhow, all along my highschool years she would bring up the subject of going on birthcontrol. When I was with my first serious boyfriend, she said that if I was thinking of having sex that she'd like me to be on birth control and she wouldn't judge me. Anyhow, I had rules for myself I had to be 18 and no longer in higschool, no sex with out condoms, and in love with my boyfriend. I really think that those talks helped me wait, where as other people are like oh kids will go out and have sex if you say stuff like that.

[kimmydawn]

thank so much ((((((((((((((katt))))))))))))))))

we pretty much had/have the same convos. i told her that i wuoldn't judge her (she's 18 next month). i didn't have ot worry about this with my older girl (her beliefs caused her to choose abstinence). however, youngest is not oldest.

thanks again! it helps alot to hear from a younger person as well.

kd

[wanttoheal]

((((((((((Kim))))))))))) Your relationship with your daughter is wonderful. I'm so glad you guys have that. Glad the talk went well too. We're still in the Moooooommmm stage

[kimmydawn]

hehehe (((((((((((((((((wantto))))))))))))))))))))

thank you so much! you're gonna be there, and you'll do great as well.

kd