[holly.short]

hi
im holly this only my second post, i joined earlier this month so i could try to deal with my past but as it happens me an my boyfriend of 6 years whom i was engaged to be married, told me he is not in love with me any more! this happened a week ago, so i guess at the moment i have to deal with now. I havnt had many relationships as i find it difficult to let anyone that close, trust ecspelialy sexualy is a big issue for me. I know in my head the seperation is the right thing as if he no longer loves me in that way he should go find someone that will make him happy, but for some reason my heart just wont come around to that. Maybe it was because it was so out of the blue. I know they say time heal all wounds but i already know that to be untrue i dont know how to go about not letting the pain make my old issues bubble back up. Im really trying to keep my head on streight. but its hard!

[phlashback]

Holly,

I feel for you. I am struggling at the moment as well. Never have I been the type of person to give direct access to me as every time I have I have been hurt. I broke my wall down and gave myself to my ex fiance. We had a good thing, but a week before christmas she cheated on me. She was the first person that I let get close to me, and I thought that was forever.

I am still in shock, as she took a stance on cheating as un repairable. I did not so much as think of another woman from the time we got together. Yet she wants me to take her back as I was "the best thing that ever happened" to her. She does not see her action as cheating because she was "coerced" into sex by her "good" friend. She even has gone as far as claiming that the guy date raped her. However she has told several stories to several people, and even her mom and best friend (female) told me that she is lying about the "rape". She has apparently done this in the past with her last boyfriend as well.

I am now alone (as I choose to not take her back). I feel like I am a jerk becasue I do not believe her alligation of rape (the facts and her actions are what raised the doubt). She tells me that none of this is my fault.

This last month has been difficult to say the least. I am conflicted at every level and to be honest I lost myself, and am trying to get back. Getting back to myself also brings back alot of pain, and issues that I thought i was finally past.

Sorry for the rant... just know that you are not alone.

[Soul Quake]

Try to keep yourself occupied through distraction. Do you have friends who are supportive?

[IceCreamKid]

Originally Posted by holly.short

hi
im holly this only my second post, i joined earlier this month so i could try to deal with my past but as it happens me an my boyfriend of 6 years whom i was engaged to be married, told me he is not in love with me any more! this happened a week ago, so i guess at the moment i have to deal with now. I havnt had many relationships as i find it difficult to let anyone that close, trust ecspelialy sexualy is a big issue for me. I know in my head the seperation is the right thing as if he no longer loves me in that way he should go find someone that will make him happy, but for some reason my heart just wont come around to that. Maybe it was because it was so out of the blue. I know they say time heal all wounds but i already know that to be untrue i dont know how to go about not letting the pain make my old issues bubble back up. Im really trying to keep my head on streight. but its hard!

Hi Holly,
You had a long relationship and it will take time to adjust. You make a good observation that a breakup can make old issues bubble up, but I'd like to give you encouragement to nurture yourself and take it a day at a time. Do you have friends who can give you some support now? You can come here and get positive feedback. I give you and

[holly.short]

Originally Posted by phlashback

Holly,

I feel for you. I am struggling at the moment as well. Never have I been the type of person to give direct access to me as every time I have I have been hurt. I broke my wall down and gave myself to my ex fiance. We had a good thing, but a week before christmas she cheated on me. She was the first person that I let get close to me, and I thought that was forever.

I am still in shock, as she took a stance on cheating as un repairable. I did not so much as think of another woman from the time we got together. Yet she wants me to take her back as I was "the best thing that ever happened" to her. She does not see her action as cheating because she was "coerced" into sex by her "good" friend. She even has gone as far as claiming that the guy date raped her. However she has told several stories to several people, and even her mom and best friend (female) told me that she is lying about the "rape". She has apparently done this in the past with her last boyfriend as well.

I am now alone (as I choose to not take her back). I feel like I am a jerk becasue I do not believe her alligation of rape (the facts and her actions are what raised the doubt). She tells me that none of this is my fault.

This last month has been difficult to say the least. I am conflicted at every level and to be honest I lost myself, and am trying to get back. Getting back to myself also brings back alot of pain, and issues that I thought i was finally past.

Sorry for the rant... just know that you are not alone.

hi,
honestly rant away it helps to get it out. Im so sorry your going through such a difficult break up i get how you feel too so please dont feel alone either. If the people that know her best are telling you that she is lying i would tend to lean towards believeing them why would they lie?
I can speak from personal experiance that the date rape drug leaves you with NO memory of what has happened thats why it is so effective.
Im sorry to say i think she is trying to play on your heart strings to get what she wants.
I get why its hard for you tho as its not like we can just turn off our feelings and the want to comfort and protect is still there but i think you need to protect your self, you say you have lost your self which i totally get i feel like im almost astranger to my self. what did you use to like to do before your relationship? what made you happy?

[holly.short]

Originally Posted by IceCreamKid

Hi Holly,
You had a long relationship and it will take time to adjust. You make a good observation that a breakup can make old issues bubble up, but I'd like to give you encouragement to nurture yourself and take it a day at a time. Do you have friends who can give you some support now? You can come here and get positive feedback. I give you and

Almost all my friends are mutual to us both so i dont feel i can talk to them about it without them feeling uncomfortable. I have very few friends that are souly mine. Since the split onlly 3 people outside my family have asked if im ok! which i cant say dosnt sting a bit.

[nice girl]

Hello holyshort..
Im sorry to hear about ur break up..
But do u think he broke up with u for the right reasons.. 6 yrs togetherness is a long time..
If u still love him that's natural after such a long relation..
but for a moment stop thinking from ur heart and think from ur brain.. was he really right for u.... a person can't stop loving a person after 6 yrs.. i have a very good friend who was in a relation for 5 yrs.. but things didnt go well between them..But i know that the boy and the girl both love each other but still they don't want to be together again..
Relations can be very complicative..
Hope u get through all of it..
And may u have a better future.. God bless.. tc..

[holly.short]

Im so confused