[isadora]

So last night when i was texting my boyfriend he said to me that he stills catches me staring at guys and i dont. Then he asked me so many questions that if i liked when guys stare at me. Why do i stare at guys. If i wanted to date other guys. And that wants my problem. I answers all of his questions but he doesnt believe. I dont know what to do so he can talk to me . Right now im going thur a tough time. I was about to take some pills cause i wanna die. What should i do so he can know that he's my only one. I really need help. I feel so lonely i really need him alot so he can save me from all im going thru. :'(

[AAAAA]

Isadora the only thing you can do is talk to him. His insecurities are HIS issues. Talk to him and let him know you love him, but HE has to deal with the insecurities. Even if you locked yourself up in your house with no outside contact with anyone but him, he would still be afraid that you’re thinking of someone else. It takes a lot of work to overcome these issues; it is a life long struggle that will not fix itself over night.

What troubles me the most about your post is that you think he can save you from YOUR issues. Depending upon someone else for your happiness is a recipe for disaster. Humans are fallible. We make mistakes real and imagined. I do not know what you are going through, but DO contact a professional. If you are a danger to yourself, call 911. Please reach out for help irl.

[isadora]

Thanks alot well i talked to him and told him i love him and that i dont have any interste in other guys i told him alot of things and he said ok. I guess ima let him think and when he calms down to talk. Im always at home always but still he thinks wrong about me. The issuse im faces is that my mom is very bossy she wants me to do everything she wants.. They compare me to my sister and says that i need to be like her its very overwhelming living in a family where theres no trust and always aguring i dont like that it really sucks alot..

[Belle1979]

SERIOUSLY!!!! isadora we all know that you don't look at other guys.. To be honest your BF has huge insecurities about this. I hate to say it but I will: do you really want to go though this for for entire life?? Its not healthy, for you or for him.
You deserve better than to be treated this way, its controlling and not the way a realationship should be.

((((isodora))))
I do hope you are doing okay

[isadora]

Hello Belle you know i asked that question to myself every night. I realize that im getting tired but i love him alot i dont know what i would do without him. Thanks Belle i guess im doing okay.

[LookingforCalm]

Isadora, no one can save you but yourself. You HAVE to remember that. No man, woman, child, friend or family member can stop you from your thoughts but you.

As for this guy, he sounds like a cheater. I think he's guilty of the things he is accusing you of, and that you need to distance yourself from him. I only see things getting worse and him trying to control you if you stay with him.

You're worth more than that, and more than him. He cannot and will not save you from yourself. You have to do that on your own. Please - email me if you like. But don't EVER give someone the power over you like he's trying to do. I really think you are feeling vulnerable, and being alone can make you feel that way. But if you already feel bad, why do you want to be with someone who wants you to feel bad or worse?

[isadora]

Hi LookingForCalm: i try to get through my things by myself its hard cause everytime im feel so sad alone i cry. Thats what i think that he might be a cheater and i have asked him so many times but he say he's not. Today i was talking to him on person saying that he has some issuse but he didnt seem to talk about them. He has told me he has never loved a girl like me. He says he loves me alot and he doesnt know what he would do without me. Right now im feeling much after i confront him. Thanks everybody.

[LookingforCalm]

I know it's hard, sweetie. I am divorced, live alone, and know the depths and depression that come with having loved and lost. I try every day to start over, have a good attitude and fresh outlook. It's for me, and not for anyone else to take away.

As for his issues, he's the only one who can talk through them. You can be there for him if you want, but you have realize that you can't save him anymore than you can anyone else. He needs time, and so do you. Perhaps things will work out. I hope so.

I would still take a break from him. It's ok to be lonely. It means you're listening to yourself. As depressing as being lonely may be, it can give way to clarity you didn't realize you had.

Good luck.

[sugahorse1]

I'm in a very similar boat. My boyfriend has huge insecurities. At times, they consume our life to such an extent that he actually tells me to pack my bags and leave. After 5 years.
I really don't believe he's a cheater, but the accusations are hurtful. And they usually start up a whole lot of rage in him. which scares me.

I'm having to take stock of my relationship too. But I know i can't live like this for the rest of my life. I need him to change, and if he wont, then he's not good enough for me

[isadora]

Hello lookingforcalm: well today im feeling better. And your right its hard feeling alone. Somedays are better than others and i got to stay strong. Thanks for all your good advice. Hello sugahorse: I agree with yoou i need to talk to him and tell him he needs to change that cause if he doesnt im not going to put up with that the rest of my life. Its hard been in a relationship where both of the parnerts are fighting almost everyday. I seriously dont like fighting. Thanks everybody for listening to me.

[Belle1979]

Hope that you can sort this out Isadora xx

Going from relationship to single is a shock! The heartbreak hurts etc but believe me I have survived it twice now.. so it can be done

I am not sure that he is a cheater, seriously from all the past posts I think he has control issues and also deep deep insecurities. You can't be the one to help him through all of the issues in his life, you have done everything possible to ensure that he knows you are loyal and he still finds faults.

Please just take care of yourself as you are the most important thing in the world!

[isadora]

Aww thanks belle yes its been 2 years of fighting but we had have greats times together. And i want the best for me. I know i can get thru this im strong. And i hope he understands that he has issuses before its to late cause i never done nothing to him. He just imagine stuffs i tell him the truth about everything. And including i even ask him for permisson when i want to go somewhere.

[Belle1979]

You should never have to ask 'permission' to go anywhere. I think letting your partner know what is going on in your life is fine, but geeze!! Girl you are a woman and shouldn't have to ask permission for anything xx

[isadora]

I agree with you i just let him know where ima go. But i know that sometimes he gets mad we are trying to work on our relationship so far yesterday we been good not fighting which i feel better. Thanks for listening to me ill keep you up date on how"s everything going

[Tatyana2009]

Hi. How are you? Sounds like your guy is controlling u to the extent that u do not feel able to leave. Thats not good...

Can you talk to a community worker? Maybe to the doctor?

I m worried about the thoughts u have of hurting yourself. I think there is a lot of anxiety. It must be treated. It can be treated. And your future can be better! There are ppl who can help. But you must talk to them.

Remember that his accusations are sick. And meant to control you. Where there is no trust there is no love. I know it hurts and its sad bit with help u can go through it. No ond deserves to live in fear and pain. And you are so honest. Please talk to someone. Hugs x

[isadora]

Hello im doing much better thanks for asking well the reason i dont talk to my family about this is cause i dont trust them if i were to tell my mom she would tell all my family including uncles aunts her friends. But i had a heart to heart talk with my bf and told him how i feel about everything. He told me he was going to change.

[Tatyana2009]

Please be safe Isadora. I hope he wont let you down...

[isadora]

Thank you yes ill be safe and ill keep you guys posted how everything goes