[witch4life]

This new girl I have begun to date has asked me what faith I follow. And I lied saying I was a Christian. But I am a eclectic wiccan (witch). And I don't know how to go about this, people just don't understand and won't give the time to listen before they judge, so what should I do?

[lynn P.]

In my opinion it's better to say the truth. You don't want to start out the relationship lieing because then she might think there's more lies. She might even think it's cool. Welcome to PC.

i would own up to it right away. just tell her what you said in your post and hope she's forgiving. next time you could say something vague like "i'm spiritual but not religious" or that you're into an earth-based spirituality or that you aren't comfortable talking about religion just yet.

[AkAngel]

I agree with both the previous posters. While honesty is best, openness is optional. I like the, spiritual rather than religious remark and often use it myself.

[lynn P.]

I would also act like it's no big deal. After all a person's spirtual journey in their business anyway.

I think it is important to be upfront. At some point, if the relationship progresses, I favor a thorough disclosure. There seems to be wicans with any number of beliefs. Are you a solitary wican or a member of a coven? If there are children, will you insist they become wicans?

What wicans believe encompasses a wide divergence from Christianity and other major religions. If the relationship gets serious, I think fairness dictates more than vagueness.

Be well.

Originally Posted by TheByzantine

At some point, if the relationship progresses, I favor a thorough disclosure. ... If the relationship gets serious, I think fairness dictates more than vagueness.

i agree byz. i only meant it's better to be a little vague initially rather than lie. i always think it's best to be honest but if it is very casual dating i wouldn't think it's necessary to go into great detail unless the other person really felt they needed to know. some people don't date outside their faith and then i think it would be necessary to be upfront from the beginning.

no one likes being lied to but we're all human and we all make mistakes. that's how i see it.

[sugahorse1]

Yup, I'd tell her.
At the same time know where you stand with regards to your faith. With something like that it's easier to discuss earlier in the relationship; it's only fair, as you do not know how religious she is, or how she'll accept the matter. You also need to know how much you are willing to bend if that question ever comes up.

Unfortunately spirituality can play a very big role in a relationship

[Typo]

I think it is important you tell her, a partner needs to accept you for all parts of you, and your spirituality is an important aspect of your life. She may not have a problem with it at all, the man I'm currently involved with didn't have a problem with it at all, and thought it was very interesting.

I wish you luck and welcome to pc

Best Wishes
Typo

[Bunny2033]

From my heart I say Be honest!!! Be yourself. You deserve someone who is going to love you for who you are. If she has a problem with your beliefs, then that is important and should be known upfront.

Granted, this religion dilemma may be a deal breaker.BUT, whatever the response of your girl, you will be able to tell where her heart was and is. That is, sometimes Christians are the most judgemental people- they tend to have the opposite qualities that preach about. But she may surprise you. Besides, you know she is Christian,and you like her despite your differences.

Bunny2033

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Originally Posted by witch4life

This new girl I have begun to date has asked me what faith I follow. And I lied saying I was a Christian. But I am a eclectic wiccan (witch). And I don't know how to go about this, people just don't understand and won't give the time to listen before they judge, so what should I do?

[redpoppies]

Originally Posted by Bunny2033

That is, sometimes Christians are the most judgemental people- they tend to have the opposite qualities that preach about. But she may surprise you. Besides, you know she is Christian,and you like her despite your differences.

And that, Bunny, is the reason why I don't like telling people what I believe!!! Like everyone else has said, tell her the truth! Maybe you can find similarities in your beliefs, and build from there. Honesty wins in this situation. Good luck!