[UCLAFan]

all my life i have been ignored by my family.my mom has been cold towards me pretty much my whole life.she hardly has told me she loves me.plus i never got many hugs from my family.the only time my mom and dad paid attention to me was when they verbally and physically abused me.i hate being ignored.but it is better then being abused.i'm 40 and i hate my family.when my dad died 7 years ago i did not cry.i was actually relieved he died.i have a feeling when my mom dies i will be relieved to.because of being ignored i crave attention.when i'm ignored now i feel like crap and i cry in private.also my family treats me like a child.i don't have many friends.the 2 people i think are my friends live in cali and that's about 1,500 miles from me.they call me up and check up on me.but not being able to actually hang out with them sucks.i don't like going out much because i feel like a lonely loser in public.i use to hang out at one place to see bands play live.but i no longer go there much.i stopped going there because nobody would even talk to me.being ignored by family and strangers triggers my anger,depression etc.plus i get jealous of strangers and their friends.i do attend baseball games.i collect baseball players autographs.i get like a high when the baseball players pay attention to me.i grew up around a former baseball player and at times he'd give me attention i have craved.last year one of my favorite players asked me if i was ok.he told me that i did not look happy.i almost lost it in public.meaning i held back a lot of tears.i was not mad at the guy.i have better feelings about my favorite baseball players then my family.i have gotten hugs from several players.when my family shows me no affection.i wish i had a different family.i thank god at times for the baseball players that talk to me.mostly it's small talk.but i like the attention.then people are jealous of me and they complain about me getting attention from the baseball players.i just want to yell at the jealous jerks.at times all that keeps me from not going nuts is baseball and music.i just wish my family showed me love.but i don't think my family knows what love is or are capable of love.i have been told i can't change them but i can change how i react to them.but i have no idea what to do.

[shezbut]

(((UCLAfan)))

I am sorry to hear that your family hasn't been very supportive or caring with you. It is a tough position to be in.

I can relate, in that my family is pretty sick. They may say that they love me, but I don't feel it from them.

Staying away from your family, in this state of mind, isn't bad. It may be exactly what you need to be a happier, healthier person. Thankfully, you have found positives in life (baseball) to give you the interest in living life. Heck, baseball keeps many of us going in life! It's simple, interesting, easy to follow & enjoy, and attracts a wide variety of decent people to the games and watch on tv.

Sometimes, it's sad to see that our family isn't healthy. Sad that we can't handle being with them ~ especially when we see others get along well with their family members. That hurts! We can now put our extra time into other relationships. For instance, I volunteer to visit an elder in my town twice per week. We talk about all kinds of things, and it reminds me that there are still good people in life. And I can choose to be around those good people. I don't have to be around those that bring me down.

Allowing yourself to make that decision does provide a feeling of freedom, as well as feeling cared about. For me, it's worth it!

Best wishes to you!

[PleaseHelp]

(((UCLA)))

To put it mildly my family of origin (one I grew up in) is toxic. To protect myself and the ones I love (BF and girls) I cut all ties with them. It was hard to do, but probably the best thing I could've done for myself.

I also can't stand being ignored. I crave attention like crazy. I think its because I didn't get it as a child.

I'm glad you have something to keep you going.

Hang in there.

[Leed]

Hi UCLAfan ~ Gosh, I know exactly what you mean. When I was growing up, my folks NEVER gave me a hug, NEVER told me they loved me, never gave me ANYTHING. I don't know why they bothered to have kids! There were 4 of us girls, and they didn't pay attention to ANY of us. All of us suffer from depression.

But you know what i found out?? I found out that my parents couldn't give me something they didn't have!!! THEY didn't get the love, so how could they give ME any?? They didn't get hugs & kisses -- how could them give them to me?? It took me awhile, but I did forgive them.

I decided I was going to STOP that cycle of non-loving. When I had kids, I SHOWERED them with love & kisses & hugs. Even to this day, whenever I talk to them or see them, they are told how much they are loved -- and I always give them hugs. My son is 40 and my daughter is 35. They don't have to wonder if I love them -- they know. Plus my granddaughter knows I love her too!

It's too bad that my parents didn't know how to show love because they would have gotten it back ten-fold. Maybe YOUR parents have the same problem. They just might not know HOW to show you the love.

God bless & take care. Hugs, Lee

[UCLAFan]

i have not had much to do with my family the last 20 years.i just see them 2 to 3 times a year and they ignore me then to.

[PleaseHelp]

I am still trying to deal with my emotions and feelings of abandonment and the ignoring from my parents. It is not easy. I wish you luck.

[UCLAFan]

thanks hope everyone is doing well.