Are You a PERFECTIONIST?

I Dublin_75 am a perfectionist!

I go to such extremes at work to be perfect and do exactly what is asked of me to do by my employer that I get so stressed out and worry myself sick. I am a total nervous wreck somedays due to the stress level. Does anybody here experience similar things in their lives as it relates to being a perfectionist and how it disrupts their happiness?

I, piggysmile, was a perfectionist too.

I think my perfectionism was mostly attributed to my selfishness and desire to please all people.

I didn't like to commit a mistake because I wanted others (my classmates, church members, teachers, friends, cousins, and even parents) to show how good I was and low they were. I always wanted praise because from it do I only get social satisfaction.

At the same time, I also wanted to please all people whatever the cost might be---stress, bad health, hurt feelings, etc.

Now, I'm giving myself some space. I'm learning my limits yet do my best despite them. I'm teaching myself not to feel bad when I make a mistake as long as I do my best. Finally, I ask God to give me strength and hope.

Of course I am a perfectionist & I have to be perfect being it......

it has been 52 years of putting pressure on myself. I didn't do it to please my parents.....I did it to not be like them......I had the drive to be better & wasn't satisfied with anything less. I would put in hours & hours & hours of studying to get the high grades.

I was the only female in the aerospace engineering career I had & to be accepted, I had to be better in order to even be recognized that I existed. Sports....speciality was racquettball. Only had guys from work to play with & I couldn't play like a girl because no one would want to play with me. The excess work caused some ulcer problems, exhaustion, & burn out after 15 years. The racquettball ended up with a win on the challenge court against one of the top guy players & being carried off the court with a torn anterior cruciate ligament.

When I went out of work on disability, I found that I didn't have any of the things around me that I had to be perfect at & seemed to loose my identity. However all the things I would do during that initial phase.....I had to do perfectly. I must say that looking back I am glad I wasn't perfect at a few things I did (like the OD's). Even my body got into the doing it right thinking......like my migraines...they were there & nothing could make them go away. My allergies to meds where I react with the most uncommon side effect......nothing simple or even obvious at times.

I do have to admit....I was a crappy Mom to my 2 legged daughter......no where even close to being perfect. Things I have no interest in, I have no drive to be perfect at. Luckily things have turned out great with her & we get along wonderfully now. I am not a perfectionist at marriage either....finally after 30 years....I want it over with & kick myself for not listening to my gut 30 years ago that told me exactly what I am telling myself now.

Now I still have drive to be "the best I can be" at whatever I do. Doesn't mean I have to be perfect but the best. Now I feel like I am competing with myself to continually get better at the things I do & to always learn more & more about the things I am involved with.

My motto regarding perfectionism had always been:
"If I strive to be perfect & miss, I will still be a lot farther ahead than if I strive to be average & I miss that."

Yes I can be. It takes me longer to do things because I'm having to make sure it's perfect and also because it's so exhausting worrying about whether you are doing everything right. People i worked with sometimes used to tell me to go faster but I just couldn't. I tried and tried but I would get so nervous that I would lose control and drop things, you could imagine. My mind would be in knots.
I was a nervous wreck at work. When it got the end of the day i was absolutely drained and would spend the night deading having to go to work again the next day.
Being a perfectionist can be a good thing though sometimes. It can work for us and against us. At least we won't get to the end of our life without having achieved anything much, which is my greatest worry in life.

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
estee1 said:
Yes I can be. It takes me longer to do things because I'm having to make sure it's perfect and also because it's so exhausting worrying about whether you are doing everything right. People i worked with sometimes used to tell me to go faster but I just couldn't. I tried and tried but I would get so nervous that I would lose control and drop things, you could imagine. My mind would be in knots.
I was a nervous wreck at work. When it got the end of the day i was absolutely drained and would spend the night deading having to go to work again the next day.
Being a perfectionist can be a good thing though sometimes. It can work for us and against us. At least we won't get to the end of our life without having achieved anything much, which is my greatest worry in life.

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">

I can totally relate to feeling like a nervous wreck at work and feel physically ill at the thought of going back the next day.

I am also a perfectionist... to the extreme that one of my professors in college sat me down and warned me that while it was okay to demand excellence, it was dangerous and self-destructive to be the over-achiever that I was.

I am learning to say no. I am learning to walk away. I am learning to let others do things... especially my kids. It is difficult to stand by and watch other people make mistakes. But I am trying to set healthier boundaries in my life.

I am a perfectionist. I'm in school now (in fact class is about to start but the instructor isn't here yet) anyway...if I get less than a 100% on test I think I failed it. I beat myself up for the fact I'm only getting a B in Math even though its only 2 points away from being an A.

Jbug

know the feeling about having to have a perfect result in an exam. If I didn't get an A in some of my exams I would have been devestated. It happened. I didn't get an A on my last exam and I was upset. Felt like a real failure. But I passed. Passing isn't good enough for me. If I fail at something I work really hard at I immediately thnk of what a failure I am.