[volatile]

I'm living with my parents right now and it's absolutely driving me insane. I basically left home when I was 15 and I haven't stayed home for more than a couple months in years.
I HATE it here. My mother especially treats me like ****. She is an absolute snob. I have SO MUCH resentment for these people it is outrageous. I can not live here.

I was living with friends and as soon as I came back I was absolutely shocked by how I was treated. i forgot how horrible it is here. For example before I totally succumbed I tried to make brownies, it might have been 11pm but I thought it would have been fine. No, I got my head chewed off because of it. i thought it was a joke, I wasn't being loud and I didn't wake anyone up. The ONLY reason someone even said something was because it was me doing something abnormal. so I sat in my room and cried like I was 10 all over again. The only reason I wanted to make ****ing brownies was because I was depressed and felt like a piece of ****. BECAUSE OF THEM.

I am scared of everything again and have absolutely no confidence in my skills in simple things like cooking, not only that I'm AFRAID of doing something like cooking because I will hear someone say something about it. This has happened every single time i have come back home for more than a week.
I was out of here for almost a year and I was eating healthy I wasn't afraid of people, I was doing things like cooking and going shopping on my own. Now I am about 20 lbs lighter and can't stop drinking. i don't do anything but hide in my bedroom.

I have TRIED desperately to explain to my mother that I can not stand the way she treats me but she tells me it's not her it's me, that there is something wrong with me not her. Then she starts throwing a guilt trip about how she's tried blah blah. I try to tell her we need family therapy but again she tells me I'm the one with problems not her.

I'm going to leave again as soon as I can but this isn't healthy. I'm not healthy and the places I desperately run off too aren't healthy either. I'm just so sick of this. I feel so sick and tired, hungry, angry. I want to burn this place down i hate it so much. Good god I would feel so good if this place stopped existing.

I'm sitting here crying writing this and all I want to do is cook something to eat but I am too afraid to.

[single dad]

I understand what you mean. I have a son and my mother gets far to involved and is always telling me what I should do, and never listens. It feels like you could talk forever and nothing will ever get accomplished. It makes you feel very helpless. You tell your parents how thier actions affect you and it feels like they just don't care what you think. I too need to get out of my mothers house and move on for my own mental well being. So yes I can understand how you feel. I know how angry and hurt you feel, my advice is to try and channel your hurt and anger somewhere. For instance I go to the gym, and I DJ. It keeps me sane it's my outlet. Find something you can use as your outlet too. Try to keep drinking to a minimum and eat when you can. The last thing any of us should do is hurt ourselves because of someone else's inability to listen and be compassionate. People can onlyl change if they themselves are willing to, and if your parents don't listen to you then I highly doubt it will change. They would have to see the error in their ways. However, many people spend to much time pointing the finger at everyone else instead of themselves. Take some time to reflect on who you are as a person, never lose sight of you. I am sure you have a lot to offer and are a great person, try not to forget that. LIfe will get better and it has a plan for each of us. Remember events like this only make us stronger if we are willing to learn from them. Take what your parents do and make sure that you do not repeat what you don't like. Life is all about learning, the question is if you are willing to accept the lesson? You will find your way to happiness, and when you move out it will become all that more apparent.

[Leed]

Bless your heart. What is her problem anyway? Is she that big of a snob? Does she have OCD or something? There MUST be something wrong with her!! For someone to continually dig and condemn their own child is unnatural ~ she MUST have some mental issues.

Yes, you DO need to get out of there as soon as possible. Your own mental health depends on it. Do you have a therapist? If so, you need to talk to him about this. If not, is there ANY WAY you can see one? Many counties Social Services dept, that has a mental health service ~ some offer counseling based on ability to pay. Perhaps you could look into that and see if you could benefit from it.

In the meantime, stay out of your Mother's way -- try not to upset her. What about your Dad??? Doesn't HE come to your rescue at ALL? Or does he just sit back & watch? At any rate, keep out of Mom's way -- please eat - I don't care if Mom likes it or not - you HAVE to eat!! Clean up after yourself, and then avoid her. I wish you the very best. Take care of yourself my friend. Keep us posted. Hugs, Lee