[unsure30]

I have a neighbor.. he tells me we are not dating but we are involved.. and that if i want i can date others or something like that. But if i hang out with my guy friends he gets jealous and later on starts yelling at me. He says he can read faces so if i give a weird look he will yell. It has come to that lately if i say one word i get yelled at. I could never handle being yelled at. Either i would yell back or start to cry one of the two.. He says i can't yell at him and tells me i can't cry. I talk to my worker and she says i should stand up for myself. I try i really do try but when im being yelled at i can't think. So one night he was yelling at me because he didn't believe i could get money off his card. He was yelling and yelling.. i started yelling back then started crying. Finally i told him i don't appreciate being yelled at and if he was going to yell i want him to leave.. he started yelling even more and almost hit me. I don't know what to do.. he is my neighbor and i know its my fault for getting into this mess and i want so bad to get out... does anyone have any suggestions for how i can end this without getting hurt or going crazy? im afraid to come back to my apartment sometimes... and i go through emotional problems enough as it is.. but i do need help anything is suggestions:confused are welcome.. please help me.

[PleaseHelp]

Sorry you are going through a difficult time. I don't see how this is your fault. You were trying to be a nice neighbor and things got out of hand. Is it possible to tell him that being friends is not healthy for you at this time? and welcome to PC. I hope you find some help and support here.

[LostSavant]

Greetings and Welcome to the PC Community. There are a lot of wonderful folks here with wonderful information to share.

[lynn P.]

Welcome to PC unsure30 - I'm sorry this is happening to you. I think you should have one of your guy friends tag along with you and let him know nicely, that you no longer want contact with him. If he causes any problems after that, then call the police and get a restraining order. He sounds abnormally possessive and dangerous. You're not under his control and he doesn't have the right to order you around.

Don't be fooled into thinking he'll change or you can tolerate this behavior by modifying your behavior - you'll end up living with the feeling of walking on eggshells. Take his behavior as a flaming red flag and steer clear of him. Be firm and get the authorities involved if you have to. Best of luck.

[salukigirl]

unsure - it sounds like he is very controlling. He wants to have his cake and eat it too. Basically everything you do is by his call, not yours. Yes you have guy friends. Yes he has girl friends. Big whoop. He can't tell you you don't matter (essentially what he is saying when he says you're not dating) and then turn around and get jealous when you talk to other men. Personally, I would get out. He sounds like he only wants to control you and things like that usually only get worse.

[Perna]

How unpleasant for you. I like lynn p.'s idea of getting another friend to tag along with you a few times and let the neighbor know he needs to cool it toward you, that you are not interested in a relationship with him. If he persists, tell the apartment manager he's bothering you and/or a law enforcement officer.