Really confused emotions...

Hey all, had a breakdown this weekend and wanted to get it out, see if anyone has some advice or anything.

I havent made new friends for a few years, but i got a new job and there are a lot of people there, and i've started making office friends. One girl in particular that i work with I've started to like a lot, more than just a friend thing. Were starting to become really good friends, to the point where she's come over to my house to hang out. My anxiety and depression started to get a little better when I was hanging out with her.

This last weekend though, her and i both went to another co workers house to chill, and she started flirting with this other guy and i started having a panic attack that was so bad i threw up and had to go home. I barely know this girl and i dont like her THAT much, but seeing her with him made me feel like my whole world was going to end. I really dont even think that dating someone you work with is a very good idea, but for some reason i cant stand to think of her being with someone, it's like i want all of her attention to be focused on me. That, or my anxiety gets to an overwhelming point.

The best part of all of this is that she already has a boyfriend and probably wasnt even flirting with this other co worker we were hanging out with, i just saw it that way for whatever reasons, to make me feel even worse. Jealous, i think, to the point of insanity. There really was no chance of us dating or anything, but because of this feeling im scared that i'm going to end up doing something stupid to ruin the chances of even having a friend, which is something i desperately need at the moment. I just want to know why i'm freaking out so much over this girl, who i've only been working with for 2 months and barely know, and why i cant seem to control it.

I dunno, any thoughts? Thank you for reading.

Hi ~ It sounds to me that you're afraid that if she HAS a boyfriend that she's not going to have time after work to spend with YOU -- she'll be spending all her free time with her boyfriend. And that wouldn't do your friendship much good. You could still be "friends" at work, but after work, you wouldn't be able to do much together.

Why not try to get acquainted with others in the office who are not "taken" at the moment ~ and who have spare time after work? Or maybe a bunch of you could all get together and go out somewhere for fun. That sounds like a ball to me. Everyone can get acquainted that way, and you can make new friends. Just a thought.

Best of luck ~ I hope something works out for you. God bless. Hugs, Lee

first i want to commend you for reaching out to make friends. we all need them in our lives. your situation seems like you wishing for the same things to happen to you-friendships, dating, etc. i like leeds suggestion about broadening your search. the workplace friendships can be a bust or you may really click with someone. idk. but a word of caution re developing friendships at work.
can you try to make other friends thru a group that has similar hobbies, interests like hiking, bowling, tennis, etc.? that could be beneficial too and you could make friends in the group possibly.
i don't know much about you but my anxiety has triggers that bring the symptoms to surface. i'd take a look at why this upset you so. i'm thinking you are afraid you can't make friends. the good news- YOU CAN. just keep reaching out to ppl, asking them what they enjoy doing and try to tell them something you either have in common or something about you in general. personalize the conversations.
please don't be discouraged. you are on the right track. you sound like a very likeable person.

Thanks for the suggestions guys, ive been thinking hard on my emotions and where they lead me, and i realize that im jealous of my new friend paying attention to other people, not really because i want to go out with her or 'be more than friends', but because i threw myself into this friendship. In my defense, she was the first friend real friend ive made in years, so i wanted to orient my life around hanging out. It made me feel normal again, but shes not doing the same thing. Shes got a whole other life that has nothing to do with me and i felt like we werent at the same level. I also dont have the confidence in myself to just be happy with me. I feel like i have to have my friends full attention on me or i cant be happy or ive failed as a person. Ive realized that i just need to back up and chill down, realize that i can make more friends around the office and that i can gain the confidence in myself to just be happy being me. Whatever that may be. Thanks again for the comments, the fact that people i dont even know are willing to help me is a huge confidence booster already.