[fewchoices]

I don't want to make this post too long by describing everything that's wrong with our relationship but at this point in my life i know i need to move on and find somebody better before it's too late.
I'm having trouble doing this even though I'm not really in love with the man I'm currently with. I find myself constantly worrying about what he's going to do when he figures out that I'm planning to leave him.I'm not necessarily afraid of being beaten to death because I know i can outrun him but I worry that whatever he might do when we finally break up will be traumatic to out children who are 5 and 8. I've been considering leaving where we live now and going back to my home town with my family and just sneaking away without telling him anything in advance. the problem with that is there are few jobs in my home town and I would really like to pursue a relationship with a man that lives here.The guy I want to be with is 10 years younger than me, handsome, in good shape ,comes from a well off family, has a great job and is very independent. He also really listens to me when I talk and appreciates me for my unique qualities.He's close to his family and well regarded by his friends. It' seems stupid to leave a guy like that behind just to get away from a loser.I haven't really told him how I feel because i know 100% if my current boyfriend suspects me of cheating he will try and kill the other guy. He thinks it will be ok because he's confident that he will be able to get off on an insanity defence. I don't actually expect anyone to have any advice for me i just needed to tell someone.

[Leed]

Hi ~ Your current bf must know that things aren't going too well -- so I doubt he'd be too surprised to hear that you're leaving unless you've hidden your unhappiness really well! Usually it's not hard to see when two people aren't getting on too well.

You might just sit him down and be honest -- just tell him that the relationship hasn't been the best - and you think it would be best if you and the kids left. I think you said that these are HIS kids -- if so, you're going to have to set up a good visitation schedule for him to see the kids. if he doesn't come, it's HIS fault. But make sure you file for child support!! it doesn't matter if you want it or not -- the kids NEED it.

I hope he doesn't get violent - if you suspect he will, call a cop BEFORE you tell him and have him there when you do. Best of luck and God bless. Hugs, Lee

[IceCreamKid]

Originally Posted by fewchoices

I don't want to make this post too long by describing everything that's wrong with our relationship but at this point in my life i know i need to move on and find somebody better before it's too late.
I'm having trouble doing this even though I'm not really in love with the man I'm currently with. I find myself constantly worrying about what he's going to do when he figures out that I'm planning to leave him.I'm not necessarily afraid of being beaten to death because I know i can outrun him but I worry that whatever he might do when we finally break up will be traumatic to out children who are 5 and 8. I've been considering leaving where we live now and going back to my home town with my family and just sneaking away without telling him anything in advance. the problem with that is there are few jobs in my home town and I would really like to pursue a relationship with a man that lives here.The guy I want to be with is 10 years younger than me, handsome, in good shape ,comes from a well off family, has a great job and is very independent. He also really listens to me when I talk and appreciates me for my unique qualities.He's close to his family and well regarded by his friends. It' seems stupid to leave a guy like that behind just to get away from a loser.I haven't really told him how I feel because i know 100% if my current boyfriend suspects me of cheating he will try and kill the other guy. He thinks it will be ok because he's confident that he will be able to get off on an insanity defence. I don't actually expect anyone to have any advice for me i just needed to tell someone.

Is your current boyfriend -- I mean the one you look down on as being beneath you -- the father of your children? I think you need a character check far more than a new boyfriend.

[SakuraLi]

Originally Posted by fewchoices

I don't want to make this post too long by describing everything that's wrong with our relationship but at this point in my life i know i need to move on and find somebody better before it's too late.
I'm having trouble doing this even though I'm not really in love with the man I'm currently with. I find myself constantly worrying about what he's going to do when he figures out that I'm planning to leave him.I'm not necessarily afraid of being beaten to death because I know i can outrun him but I worry that whatever he might do when we finally break up will be traumatic to out children who are 5 and 8. I've been considering leaving where we live now and going back to my home town with my family and just sneaking away without telling him anything in advance. the problem with that is there are few jobs in my home town and I would really like to pursue a relationship with a man that lives here.The guy I want to be with is 10 years younger than me, handsome, in good shape ,comes from a well off family, has a great job and is very independent. He also really listens to me when I talk and appreciates me for my unique qualities.He's close to his family and well regarded by his friends. It' seems stupid to leave a guy like that behind just to get away from a loser.I haven't really told him how I feel because i know 100% if my current boyfriend suspects me of cheating he will try and kill the other guy. He thinks it will be ok because he's confident that he will be able to get off on an insanity defence. I don't actually expect anyone to have any advice for me i just needed to tell someone.

I'm so sorry your going through this, I'm also going through the process of ending a relationship. If your current partner is violent and you know he is capable of carrying out violent on you or anyone else LEAVE, run do not walk. And realistically, that guy you do like, what if things don't pan out with him since you said you havn't told him how you felt? Then what?

I would just suggest leaving till the heat is off, keeping in touch with the guy you like and taking care of yourself first. Maybe therapy for you. Thats just my opinion. good luck.

[fewchoices]

Thaks for your replies. i already bought the plane tickets so I can't think about it too much anymore.