[Die2dream]

Hi I am new here and having a big problem.

Me and my boyfriend have been together for 3 years now and have a 5 month old son. After a year of us dating he suddenly broke up with me. Our relationship was bad, we were both emotionally/physically abusive & had extreme jealousy. But he was my first love &i was heartbroken. At first he refused to talk to me, I stopped eating, stopped going to school, couldn't even function right.

Then he came back, said he wanted to be with me, we'd have sex &he'd breakup with me again, over & over &over. All while he had another gf that he repeatedly lied to me about. It killed me so bad. Well he finally came back for good & begged for me back. I loved him, so I agreed.

Now Our relationship is so different. We rarely fight &it was never again physical. He's been nothing but amazing since then. 2 years later & we have a fantastic relationship. But it's 2 years later & I'm still crying myself to sleep at night because of what he did in the past. I told him it still kills me & he says he wishes he could take it back. How can I finally let go of this?

[Die2dream]

Any advice at all?

[NishQuiche92]

I've been there...I have been with my fella for 6 years now...but we went through a bad break up at one point..and he was pretty horrible to me...there are times now where I hold small resentments towards how he treated me...but ultimately I am over a majority of it...you need separate out a lot of your feeling from what happened in the past and see him for the amazing man he is...talk to him...sit down and make a list of things you should have done differently with each other...then both of you TOGETHER agree to go forward and be hopeful about things...the biggest thing is that; you guys went through the break up...both of you....so you trying to heal by yourself may prove difficult..include him and let him know how you feel about things.

I can understand how you feel. Trust broken is very difficult to mend but.. not impossible! You can get through this but really if he's being as good to you as you say and has changed and left that all behind, he should be understanding as to how this is going to affect you for awhile. It's going to take work on his part to restore the trust. Really he's gonna need to work harder now than ever to show you that he's faithful and true. That's not a bad thing. You'll both come out with stronger character, and your relationship will be hard to tear apart again.

Forgive yourself for still feeling bad about it and crying and feeling betrayed, it's one of the hardest things to get over and it takes time.. be patient with yourself.