[BlueFaith]

Well, I just talked to my mother for the first time in quite a few days. I called and my dad answers the phone. He talks very hateful to me, and I don't even know why. I'm never there to make anyone mad about anything, and there's really no reason for him to be mean to me like that. My sister is there with them every single day. She doesn't live with them, but she lives right down the road. She does anything and everything they ask her to do. Thus, she is the almighty princess. She honestly does nothing wrong in their eyes. And I mean NOTHING. I, on the other hand, am way less than what they expect me to be. I live about an hour and a half drive away from them, and I don't see them much. Really I didn't see them much when I only lived 30 minutes away from them. I just don't understand what it is about me that is so unlovable to them. What is friggen wrong with me?!?! Why am I "the one" that isn't deserving enough to be treated like a human? My mother is an alcoholic, and she has made me feel like crap for years. But as an adult I've tried to help them in any way I can.. even though they still treat me like garbage. Why do I continue to try to help them when all they do is bring me down? Am I just an idiot? I don't talk to them that much. But if they need something that they think I can help them with... they'll call me. And stupid me will always give in and help with whatever it may be. BUT I can just call to say hi and I get talked to like I am nothing. Geez...sometimes my life seems so hopeless. I just wish I could stop feeling like I owe them something... kinda like I have to do nice things for them so I'll be accepted by them. But I just don't know why I feel like I HAVE to be accepted by people that treat me like *****... and always have! God, I am an idiot.

((((( Jenn )))))

Family relationships are crazy and stressful enough on their own...throw alcoholism into the ring and BAM!

Up suddenly means down and out means in.

The way they treat you might have nothing to do with you at all, but more about them and their frustrations in their own lives. Your sister plays into their twisted needs...you don't. Of course she is perceived as the (enabling) princess.

Take frustration, anger and fear and throw alcohol on it.

Everyone in the path gets burnt. Whether you did/do anything wrong.

The best you can do is try and get out of the way and save yourself.

Petunia

[kimmydawn]

((((((((((((((((((((MP)))))))))))))))))))))))) I so understand. I'm in the same place with my mother, and I've just once again had to sever ties. I will never heal with her continual re-injuring.

I understand everything you say here. You will find your way.

Keep yourself safe.

Love,

KD

[LMo]

yep, yep. I hear you. My parents aren't alcoholics, but somehow I am the black sheep, always. I never receive approval, despite having my life more together than any of my siblings (and they're a tough act to lead). I've done really well in my career, have great friends, an awesome house, and a partner who loves me very much... so where is it that I'm still considered a !#@$@%-up?



You're not alone. We black sheep have to stick together.

Love,
LMo

[SpazKatt]

*hugs*

[tinybabyrex]

i can completely relate to you, same story, same sister, same mom (altho mine is on drugs), same angry, angry, angry dad, same exact story hun.
if i can help, i'm here for you.xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox

[BlueFaith]

Thanks (((everyone))). It feels good to know that I am not alone, and at the same time I hate the fact that anyone else has had to go through or is going through this. It's terrible. My heart says get close to them, and my head says to stay away from them. It's a struggle. I've fought with myself all day long about it. I've wanted to call and just ask them if I did something wrong to make them mad at me. But I know that it probably has nothing to do with me. I'm simply just a good punching bag for them... whether it be physically or mentally. They just don't care. It's hard to live with that.

[tinybabyrex]

<font color="blue"> i'm sorry that you are in this situation *hugs* to you. it is not your fault and there is nothing wrong with you. unfortunatly our parents need an outlet for their anger and hurt, and sometimes it is us. it isn't fair, and i'm sure it has nothing to do with you. hang in there, and know you are not alone. may i make a suggestion?.........try writing them a letter, say everything you need to, everything that has ever bothered you, everything you have ever felt about the way they have and continue to treat you. even if you cannot bring yourself to send it, getting it all out on paper can help. good luck to you. you are in my thoughts, and more then welcome to talk with me anytime....or e-mail....tinybabyrex@aol.com .......xoxo -babyrex </font>

[CedarS]

(((((((((((MP))))))))))))

I am a black sheep myself. (Baaaaaaaa!)

My dad is an alcoholic, my mom is abusive, I had to cut off contact with my mom awhile back.

I love this quote about our family members who make us feel like *****........."They know how to push our buttons, because they installed them.".

[BlueFaith]

(((Sarah)))) Thanks. That quote is SO true. Seems like we have quite a few of us black sheep around here! Sad... but maybe we should start a club or something..hahaha!! LOL

oh, sweetie....when i moved back to the ranch that i inherited from my parents, my brother drove up and stood in the front yard and called me every name in the book...i mean EVERY name....he's the one who tore my building down and destroyed a life time of memories.

i've always been the black sheep. baaaaaaaaaaa. i went to college, excelled, did good works for the human race, etc. etc. etc. IT WAS NEVER ENOUGH AND IT NEVER WILL BE ENOUGH.

took me five years, with a Pdoc, to realize that we probably aren't going to please family.....at least most of us.

hold your head up high and think about what kind of life your "princess" sister REALLY has..the dishonesty, the enabling, the two-faced stuff, etc. you're our "QUEEN".....love, pat