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  #1  
Old Dec 07, 2001, 07:09 PM
sheari sheari is offline
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Member Since: Dec 2001
Posts: 1
I will try not to make this too long, but I need some advice on how to handle a very serious problem in my life. Here is a short background leading to the problem. I am a 38 year old gay man, after denying this all my life, came out 2 years ago. This ended my marriage and threw me into a deep depression, which led to drug and alcohol abuse. I was taken in by my best friend, his sister and another good friend. We lived together for 2 years and they helped me through the toughest time of my life. They became friends that I would give my life up for. My depression led to a suicide attempt this past summer. These people abandonded me after this. Thank God, my exwife and best friend found it in her heart to care for me afterwards. I moved out of the house I was living with these friends in , and moved out on my own. After a stupid argument with one of these friends, he said he never wanted to hear from me again. I still do not know why they all abandoned me. They would never give me the opportunity to ask them what they were feeling. Now, I have returned to work and I work with one of these folks. I go through every day, watching him ignore me, go out of the way to avoid me, etc. He has not said a word to me in 3 months. I know I should just say goodbye, but the loss of the friendships hurts me so much. Especially since I am from out of state and do not have many other good friends here. I feel I can never approach him because he will say to me " I told you I never wanted to hear from you again" I wish I could get over this, but I can not, and it is causing me to slip again. I want them to know how much they have hurt me. I want to know why they abandoned me when I needed them the most. What can I do? How can I get past thinking about them every day?


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  #2  
Old Dec 08, 2001, 01:57 PM
curlyq curlyq is offline
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Member Since: Jul 2001
Location: USA
Posts: 179
Hi and welcome. Sorry to hear of how they treated you after your suicide attempt and your other troubles, too. What has helped me at times with people who act that way is to write them a letter. At times I have sent the letters and sometimes I did not. I wrote what they did and and how my feelings were effected. Yes, you can get past thinking about them all the time. Sometimes instead of sending the letter I just read it out loud with emphasis and to let out my emotions on it. Rejection is a very hard thing, I know. I always think that finding new friends is the answer for me. Maybe learning to meditate would keep your mind off of how they hurt you. There are lots of books available on the subject. I also try to divert my attention when something is on my mind all the time. For me tending to my pets and cleaning my apartment helps get my mind off of things. Hope this helps.

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  #3  
Old Oct 18, 2002, 05:07 PM
amandaheelen amandaheelen is offline
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Member Since: Oct 2002
Posts: 14
It sounds to me like you dont' need these people. real friends are there during a crisis. my best gal had cancer. she was only 13. her boyfriend was otherwise occupied with job problems and his living situation. add your girlfriend's cancer to that and he had alot on his plate. she eventually broke it off because she said he wasn't there when she needed him the most. I on the other hand kept talking to her no matter what was going on in my life. she needed someone to hold her proverbial hand (this is all on the internet, BTW) we still keep in contact. my point? if they aren't there when you need them the most then you dont' need them at all. you can do much better. your family should be a solid base of support but I understand these days that most people won't give a damn.

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