[Kangels3287]

my ex boyfriend got engaged 3 months after our breakup and then married one month after that. we were suppose to be married. We were together for 2 years and he begged me to marry him within three months, but I wanted to wait a year. He got scared at that point and we kept seeing each other, we lived together also. I am having a hard time believing and not wanting him. I have tried to date and I don't have any interest in anyother man. Is this normal? How can he be married and I am unable to even let a man hold my hand! What is wrong with me? He lied so much to me and I can't seem to move on.

Hello, Kangels3287. Grieving takes time.

http://www.helpguide.org/mental/grief_loss.htm
http://www.helpguide.org/topics/grief.htm

[Kangels3287]

Originally Posted by TheByzantine

Hello, Kangels3287. Grieving takes time.

http://www.helpguide.org/mental/grief_loss.htm
http://www.helpguide.org/topics/grief.htm

why doesn't he have to grieve?

[John25]

It seems to me that you made a wise decision at that time, to wait at least a year until you would marry him.

Regarding grief: it is a very individual process. He might be grieving in a different way than you expect, or he might be even ignoring the grieving process now. Does it really matter how he deals with it...as long as you take care of yourself and you don’t force yourself into 'getting over it'. Give yourself the time you need to process this.

[DivorcedWoman]

Don't be too hard on yourself. The grieving process takes a while and happens at a different rate for everyone.

I'm glad you waited a year to marry him. That was a good idea. It is definitely better you didn't marry him and have kids, etc. to have him hurt you later on and lose more of your life.

I was in a 20 year marriage and it took me a year and half to consider dating again and I've heard of it taking longer for others.

Try not to pressure yourself into a timeline. You will know when you are ready. It was hard for me to be alone after being in a relationship for so long and it took some getting used to. I used this time to grieve and work on myself and my own issues.

So sorry you are going through this. We are all here to support you.

Just because he's engaged and married doesn't mean he's not grieving and he may not even be happy. Everyone handles things differently so while you need to be alone, he may have found comfort in someone else, and just decided to marry her so he wouldn't be alone....

Sometimes after a breakup we want someone back just because we don't have them anymore, not because it was a really good relationship.

I know it's hard. i hope it gets easier for you soon.