[Jinxyjinx]

Hello,
I recently turned 40, and since then, i have gradually been losing interest
in everything.
I am a musician. I teach the guitar. So i am able to talk, relate, and teach my students just fine.

I am married, and my moods have begun to take a horrible toll on that relationship.
Im confused about what to say here really. I have problems with racing thoughts and making decisions. Forgive me if im jumbling subjects around, its hard for me to line up my thoughts.
I dont care about anything anymore. I have negative thoughts about everything and everyone i see. Either the way i see them, or the way they see me.

I think, "Wow, people are so stupid, i hate them". Or i'll think,
"God, im such in idiot, that person must hate me" I dont really enjoy making music anymore, which is probably the biggest thing that i dont understand.
Its been my life for so long. How can i not love it anymore? It doesnt make sense. I was a bit of a child prodigy on the guitar. I have had good success in music. Actually, my life is quite good. I have a nice house. A job. Nice music studio. A wife who loves and takes care of me.

Why am i not happy?

I feel like an old crumudgeon. I hate that, and i hate this, and everything is stupid and pointless. What is the point?? What am i doing? Why am i doing this?
I have finally decided to go to the doctor and see if im actually clinically depressed.

Anyway, at least i have found a place to vent, and talk about the crazy things im thinking all the time. And to talk to others that feel similar.

Thanks...

[50guy]

It is good that you have made an appointment to see a doctor. I know how you feel, I went through the same kind of "racing thoughts" and trouble making decisions. i am hopeful that seeing the doctor and being honest with him/her will help you get the proper care or medication that you need.
Good luck.

[Leed]

Guess what? You sound depressed. And that is easily taken care of ~ I'm glad you made an appt. with your doctor!! I've been depressed most of my life, and thank God for medication!!!

This could be a temporary thing ~ maybe turning 40 had an adverse effect on you - who knows?? It does affect some people badly. I didn't like it either ~ but you should have seen me when I turned 60! Good grief, I wanted to commit mayhem!!!

Remember that if he gives you an antidepressant, it takes 3-6 wks for it to start working -- so be patient. Hold on -- it will work. God bless and keep posting with your progress. We're here to listen. Hugs, Lee

[Denver Dave]

Try practicing mindfulness. That will help you appreciate what you have.

[missbelle]

Originally Posted by Denver Dave

Try practicing mindfulness. That will help you appreciate what you have.

mindfullness....appreciate what you have? How can one really do that if one is really depressed? PLEASE!

[mary P]

Sounds like perimenapause to me. My exact symptoms!
Ask your doctor for a blood test to see where your hormone levels are.

Originally Posted by mary P

Sounds like perimenapause to me. My exact symptoms!
Ask your doctor for a blood test to see where your hormone levels are.

I thnk jinxyjinx is a male - said "A wife who loves and takes care of me."

JinxyJinx - you actually sound like a combination of me and my husband.

He finds pleasure in almost nothing and thinks everything is stupid and pointless but relates well with everybody he works with and friends.
He has a nice house, car and wife (that's me).

I have racing thoughts and can't make decisions. I have a diagnosis and take meds -he will never admit there is something wrong except for "I don't know what's wrong with me..." he will never see a dr.

It is taking a toll on our relationship as he takes out his negativity on me - i think he is disappointed in himself for certain things, like weight and he just had to withdraw from a class he was failing after going back to school at the age of 41 because he didn't really try. When he takes things out on me, I get upset and cry, or withdraw. Neither one works out well.

Having things doesn't make you happy.
You have to be happy within yourself. I don't know if something changed in your life personally or it's deeper....sometimes depression happens for no reason whatsoever. Going to a doctor is a great first step. Sometimes just talking to an unbiased 3rd party can be more help than anything else.

Keep posting here - the people at PC are such a great wealth of information.

Good luck!