[venusss]

... but while I am intriguing to some and I have been told i have a calming presence...

... I am equally off putting to some. I do have knack for making enemies. It seems that some of these people just feel need to attack me because I am different... or because of my presence. I am not a backstabber. I honestly don't care what most people do with their lifes (though I may try to advice them if they ask for it).

In several internet communities I stirred a controversy, making both friends and enemies. In RL I found people who like me muchly, but at the same... some are apparently scared of me (there is no reason) and some who disliked me strongly and did not bother to hide it.

I am not asking for sympathy and validation.... but I wonder *what* is it, and if there is a way to turn *it* off, if ever needed in the future. I don't want to change who I am drastically... but I want to handle myself better at times.

[lastyearisblank]

I have been told that I am calming, and high strung. I have been told that I am too much of a push over, and too much of a strong personality. I have been told..

that I am too giving and too self centered
that I am too lazy and too self punishing
too trusting and too untrusting
too naive and too cynical
too bold and too meek
too intellectual and too stupid
too rigid and too messy...
too nurturing and too spacy...
too girlish and too boyish...

You get the point. If I took all of these to heart, then I would go crazy. Literally crazy, I don't know if you've noticed, but, these are all the opposite of each other... And it's slightly specific to women too, because women are supposed to be all things to all people.

When someone tries to give me objective "feedback" on how I am, I just kind of feel like they're telling me a story about themselves...