[Jenn1fer82]

Despite having many ups and downs with my health starting at the age of 23 and I'm turning 29 soon I was able to get myself through school and last year I got my BA in social work. I took longer than I wanted but I got my degree!! There is a falling out between myself and my family and there are so many hurtful things being said but what hurt me the most is when I had to hear her say to me: Why can't you get your life together already, you're almost 30 when can you get on your own!

Its not my fault that I sudden had epilepsy and for the first few years the doctor kept pulling me out of school and work. Its not my fault that the doctor took my driver license away. Its not my fault that the doctor couldn't figure out for the first few years what was wrong with me and how they continue to try out multiple medication to make me better. Its not my fault that my life depends on the support of others.

She indirectly kicked me out of her home when I had called the cops on my dad and brother because my brother had put me in a head lock and my dad continued to threaten to physically hurt me. My father is a drunk and my brother is a hopeless cause. She is the type to keep the dysfunction behind close doors but when I called the cops and ran to the neighbors for safety she hated me for that and told me I'm the problem of the family and she doesn't believe me that my brother chocked me. When I asked her where am I suppose to live she told me I can stay there still but she doesn't know anything about my father and brother hurting me. I was left out in the cold regardless. It was either I stay there and I wont have her support in anyway to stand up for me or I have to pick up my things and leave. Either way I'm out on my own. What hurts me the most is that I'm in the process of getting my surgery for my seizures and everyone knew that. That was way I moved back home because I knew I was going to need their support as I recover and financial support bc I lost my job in January.

She doesn't care about the status of my health and at the same time she critize me for everything I've achieved. How can she just abandon me like that. How can she defend my drunk father over and over again. How come its so easy for her to leave me out in the cold and always defend my brother who is good for nothing! He's the one that got into a DUI and got $19000 and hasn't done anything with it but spend it on drugs, beer and girls. She still allow him to do all of that in her home. Here I am the daughter that has overcome things and has moved on in life but she criticizes me!!

It really breaks my heart!!

[Perna]

I'm so sorry you are not getting the support you need. It is a sad fact that parents have as hard a time being parents as they have being people but they are individuals and it sounds like your mother has a lot on her plate with her husband/your father and your brother making it hard for her too. Does she work/have money? Has she "made something of herself"? It does not sound like it so what you are trying to do may be foreign to her and she may be as "trapped" as you feel at the moment. If she has no other way to make a life, she is stuck with your father/brother and their antics?

Do you have any good friends from school or before who could help you? I would stay away from your brother and father as best you can, get your operation and out of your parents house and truly move on as soon as you are able.

[lynn P.]

(((Jenn1fer82))) - I'm so sorry this happened to you and yes you're completely right to call the police of your brother/father. This is obviously a dysfunctional home and your mom continues to enable your father and brother. Is there a more caring relative, perhaps an Aunt you could live with. Do you have a job or what means of support do you have - trying to figure out how you could support yourself. Maybe go on temporary disability.

I understand this must be so hurtful, not to be supported and made to look like the bad one in the family. It's also a shame your mother can guarantee your safety. The sooner you can get your own independence the better. I pray your surgery will help you and hope you can come to terms with this disappoinment.

[youOme]

Misery likes company, her life is a mess and yours in improving for the better and instead of giving you the praise you deserve they are critisizing you and attempting to make you feel the way they do with their unhappy lives. It's your job to not allow this to happen, even if it means putting them at a distance.. unfortunatley.

[sabby]

Hi Jenn,

I am so sorry that you are going through such a difficult time with your family. Unfortunately, when there is an alcoholic and/or dependent drug user in a family, the whole dynamics of the family change and become ill and dysfunctional. I'm not making excuses for how your mom has treated you, but to say she is just as ill as your dad and brother I believe is a fair statement. When you called the police, you took away the privacy of the dysfunction and that probably scared the heck out of her. Still, you had every right to do what you did and it's incumbent upon your family to find their own way.

I applaud you on finishing your degree! That must have been a wonderful feeling. It doesn't matter how long it took, the fact is that you stuck with it and succeeded! Congrats!

I have a link here for the Epilepsy Foundation in Cali. http://www.epilepsyfoundation.org/ab...iateLookup.cfm

This may be a good place to start calling to find out what kind of support you can get from them. They should be able to help you find housing, possibly assistance from SSI/SSDI, etc etc. There is always help somewhere and sometimes we just need to make that first call and open up to possibilities. You deserve a safe place to live and I pray you can find one soon!

Take good care of yourself!