Feel really stupid

Threee years ago my husband (now ex) told me he didn't love me or fancy me and did not want to continue the relationship - so I divorced him

He moved out for 9 months into a caravan, but when it got cold in the winter he moved back in again. I have been patiently waiting for him to leave since then.

It is a difficult situation, although we do not argue in front of the kids, I spend most of my time feeling realy stressed and trying to control my emotions.

I went out last night with a friend and she told me he had asked one of the other mums at our kids school out for a drink. I initally felt really hurt, however told myself that I can't dictate who he sees and our relationship is over. However I can't get over the fact that he is still in my house, using my washing machne, toothpaste, TV etc... and can think it is OK to try to start a relationship with someone who I see everyday at the school.

I feel really stupid, I do still care about his feelings, yet he obviously doesn't give a damn about mine. Why do I keep kidding myself that he does?

Work up today with a new band aid on my arm

Tell him it is time for him to leave NOW! It's not fair that he is doing this to you.

Children's talent to endure stems from their ignorance of alternatives.
~ Maya Angelou

Thank-you CSC - my rational head knows that I need to get him to leave, but I am scared of what this would do to my kids and that they would blame me for making him leave and that they may want to go with him. But I know that I can't continue to manage this situation for much longer - it just seems enormously hard.

Your kids can SEE that you're unhappy ~ kids know more than we think they do. You've got to think of yourself too. Kids are very resilient ~ they will still be able to see their Dad on visitation days. If they get mad, they'll get over it soon. I'm sure they'd rather see YOU happy than the way you are now.

Mom's always think of everyone else besides themselves. It's time to think of YOU. God bless. Hugs, Lee

I too am concerned about the kids. This situation must be very confusing for them - depending on their ages of course.

It’s going to be tough but you really need to give him his marching orders. He has it too comfortable.

Agree with the others. I know it's hard on the kids but when you tell them that mom & dad are happier when they are apart it might help. It's to their benefit for you to do this. He doesn't deserve the kindness you are giving him. give yourself that kindness.

Wow! That is ballsy! I can't believe he has the guts to do that to you when u are taking care of him and letting him stay in YOUR house! His ability to have a stable environment is NOT your responsibility. Your kids are your responsibility. He needs to get the hell out. I don't know how you have been putting up with it all winter. Hope everything works out. I feel for you!